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female
,
anonymous
writes: how do you know if an affair is truly over?I only see my lover once a week anyway but are usually in contact throughout the week by either phone or texts,the last time we were together felt wierd because my lover is a friend who people knew i was going out with on that particular day(We have been friends for years but only started an affair a year ago).However since that day my lover has not called or texted me once.Has he got cold feet and is he backing off?How do i know if he wants to stop seeing me as a lover?I'm not really worried if he wants to stop as things have been getting very awkward between us and we have talked about not seeing each other again but a straight "its over i like you as afriend,nothing more anymore" would be nice,at least then i can get on with my life knowing he is not interested anymore!is this what men do when they want to end an affair?
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female
reader, layla +, writes (25 August 2006):
 hi, i think that you should wait for him to contact you and tell him that you are having doubts. i also think that you should wait for a while untill you talk to him. sorry. i know ths may turn out to be realy hard. but good luck. xx dont let men do this to you.
A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 I think his guilt is taking over, but he is taking the cowards way out. He needs to talk to you it is not fair to keep you hanging like this. I think that you should tell him it is over because he is too scared to say it himself. Then I think that you need to keep your distance from eachother for a while, then maybe in the near future you may be able to become friends once again. It will be akward at first but if you both admit to making a huge mistake and act like adults, I think that you will be able to get over it and save the friendship that once excisted. Good luck
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A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 Just ask him, but going on what you say about having discussed not 'seeing' one another, I think he may have taken it that you already know the outcome, and I guess he does not want to cause any pain or awkwardness. Can you leave it for a while until the dust settles, then contact him? It may be for the best..
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