A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When your married how do you and your partner decide on how many kids you want? He doesnt really like kids and he only wants one but i love kids and want atleast three. Is there a compromise we can make so were both happy? We dont want kids yet but we are talking about the future and he says he wants to get fixed after the first kid but i said dont decide that now cuz u can change your mind and might want one after the first. He said its cuz of money why he doesnt want alot. So do you think if we have alot of money he'll be fine with more kids?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): I hope I like the one.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): Just be grateful you both WANT kids at all. Have one and you both win - you both had a child to idolise. If after a period of time you think you want and can afford another one, talk about it. But if he sticks to one, leave it at that. You'll have a happy husband and hopefully a beautiful child. You don't need another one.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (15 July 2011):
 See if your finances can actually support 3 children, and to determine this, just have one child and wait about 3-4 years before you think about a second child. Then gage your finances to see if you can afford it. By then either he may change his mind about having more or your may decide two is plenty. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): Chigirl is right. See how you feel after your first one. Don't worry about it until then.
You can plan all you want but until you actually know what it's like to be a parent then you truly can't say how many you will actually decide to have.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 I think if you start off with the one you'll both be able to see how it goes and take it from there on. Maybe you will be content with the one for all you know, maybe there will be birth complications and you can only have that one, maybe he'll be so charmed by the child that he'll want more.
I say leave the arguing for later and start off with one child first and see how it goes. Make it clear you want more, but his wishes needs to be respected as well. Make an agreement to have one child first and then both of you see how it goes and maybe make a compromise on two children if that's what you both feel comfortable with after the first one is out in the world.
Things chance once you have kids, maybe you will both feel differently after having your first child. It puts things into a new perspective.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (14 July 2011):
 A compromise between the two of you would be TWO kids.
I think since you both agreed to ONE. Work on that.
Once he experiences BEING a parent. (making them is the easy part) then you will see what it is really like.
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