A
male
age
,
*26imeh
writes:I've been married to her for 21 years. We have had marriage problems from her cheating years ago. Its been very hard to this day to let go of it mainly because I am uncertain if any more cheating has gone on or if it will happen again. We both held onto a lot of resentment, and we both lost a lot of love for each other. Her job is now the main cause of my resentment. She was put on the midnight shift. To me, thats a problem in itself because she has so many men friends there. I read her text messages and they all hit on her in one way or another. I've approached her in the past about a divorce and she said she wanted to work on our marriage. Long story, she hasn't done much of anything to improve our marriage while I made some real efforts to correct the things she said caused her to cheat. Now she sleeps more then anything else, she blames her work hours for that, she does as little as possible for our home. She does very little to be a decent mother to our 2 teens, she is not into sex , she is a slob and she spends more money than we have. I have little trust and faith in her. She refuses to go to marriage counselling. I am becoming more depressed everyday living like this with her. Is it time to end this marriage?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
This may sound daft but have you thought about going to counceling on your own, Im not saying your the one with a problem I went on my own many times as my husband was relly not interested, It made me a stonger person and when I regained my strength I gained a new prospective on how to handle my situation, My marriage was over I just wanted to reasure myself, although I new deep down I wasnt in the wrong talking to someone who understood helped me do this. I told my husband I was going and he could come anytime but he just wouldnt so hunny get your confidence back and make the decition that feels right for you TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A
female
reader, Sex Kitten  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 yep, it is definately time mate!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 Sometimes , we need to do those things when our partner cannot or unwilling to do it. This is call love. It maybe her responsibility but she is unable to fulfill it.You will have to fill it in for her.
When our spouse is not pulling their weight, it becomes a heavier burden .It is love that sustains a relationship through thick or thin.
When you married her , you promised to carry her through thick and thin.Now , you have groaned under the increased weight and want to quit?
Perhaps , you need to treat her differently from what you are doing now and hope that she will change.Do not expect an overnight change . It takes time and if they make some progress, that is Ok. Be patient .
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