| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: How do you ask your boyfriend to use viagra or some other drug, without humiliating him? My bf is the nicest, sweetest guy but his erection is not that hard, it just kinda flops back against his abdomen instead of 'standing to attention' (for want of a better word) like its meant to. It makes it difficult for me to enjoy sex, I know he does but I'm starting to lose interest. The thing is, he seems to think that this is how erections are meant to be. We're both early 20's but he'd never had sex before so no-one ever had a chance to tell him, I suppose. But he's wondering why I'm losing interest in sex, he thinks he's done something wrong - how can I tell him the truth without hurting him? Any suggestions at all would be appreciated, thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Thanks for the advice guys, I did end up 'voicing my concerns' but to no avail. He said that all men's erections are different and since he has no problem climaxing and ejaculating then there must be nothing wrong, and that lots of women don't orgasm during sex so it's perfectly normal. But I don't care if I orgasm, I just want to enjoy sex just a little bit because most of the time I can't even feel him inside me at all. I care more about him than about sex, but the thing is, HE gets upset when I don't enjoy sex and rather than admit there's something not quite right downstairs, he wants to try sex toys which I'm not comfortable with at this stage of our relationship.
There's no chance of him seeing a doctor for this, so I'm wondering if there's some herbal thing he could take which doesn't need a prescription? I could take horny goatweed with him so it's like we're both 'trying something', and hopefully herbal stuff wont have side-effects. Does anybody know of anything that might be effective??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): Thanks guys, I did bring up the topic in conversation but his reaction wasn't what I'd hoped. He seems to think there's nothing wrong because all men's erections are different, and the fact that I can't orgasm (or even get close to orgasm) is normal because heaps of women can't. He's completely denied there's something not quite right down there and there's no chance of him consulting a doctor about it. I know that it shouldn't bother me too much, I care about him more than sex. It's just that HE gets upset when he can't pleasure me during sex and rather than admit he has erection problems he wants to try sex toys and stuff, which I'm not comfortable with at this stage of our relationship. *sigh* I do care more about him than about sex and if he doesn't want to see a doctor, that's fine, I understand how embarrassing it must be.
But there must be some herbal thing he can take without needing a prescription, yeah? That'd suit us fine. I can take horny goatweed and tell him it's for increased desire, and ask if he wants to try some as well because I bought his & hers versions. Do you think that'd work, and do you if there's anything herbal he could take??
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A
female
reader, candy00s  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 Try telling him that you would love to experiment with viagra, make out a friend was telling you how good it was!
The only problem you might then have is he might feel he cant perform without popping a pill.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (28 May 2007):
 If you love him, and he loves you, he'll do anything to satisfy you. Voice your concerns. The longer you go without telling him, the more hurt and embarrassed he's going to be. Relationships are all about communication.
DV1
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