A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am about to marry the best man that has ever come into my life i am divorced and have 4 boys my fiance was never married but has 3 boys w/ his ex. we have both been divorced/separated for 3 years. Everything is great except for the ex. she is rude and constantly calls and texts my fiance and for nothing of importance. for instance she will send directions to their sons football game with her son when we pick him up which is fine and all that is necessary for normal people but she will not only give us directions but then call 4 or more times to remind him of the time of the game and remind him to look at the directions and then call again to verbally give the same directions we already have!!!!!! she calls to nag and the biggest problem is that she treats my fiance so badly she will not just call a tenth time w/ a reminder of something we already know (what time kids get out of school, remember to feed them etc.) but she will say it in the rudest ways and yell and call my fiance names like loser, deadbeat, and other words i cannot say here and she says and does all of this in front of the kids! including mine! this is getting extremely annoying and causing a disruption in our lives i dont want to leave but if i do this will be the reason!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): ok hi there. ok something like this has happened 2 my best mate. ok wot i wud honestly do is i would arrange a meeting between you and his ex, somewhere neutral like a cafe or restaurant, a controlled and calm enviroment. sit her down and sort of say the obvious. things like "ok, you obviously are obsessed with my fiancee? so why cant you just face reality and let him go. i mean if he is as wonderful as you say he is, surely you can see why she obsesses over him so much. but yeah i can completely see your frustration with her, i mean i would be if i were in your shoes.
If that does not work, then what i would do then is to talk 2 ur fiancee and sort of ask him to speak to her. because wot it sounds like to me is that his ex still has a flame of love burning for you fiancee. and maybe only he can put that flame out. i mean i think sometimes the only way for someone to stop her is to hurt her emotionally. i mean that sounds really harsh but sometimes it's the only way.
Thirdly, DO NOT let this ex come between you and your fiancee. i mean you obviously love each other so so much that you want to spend the rest of your days together, but i mean if your love is so strong, then something like this should be anywhere near enough to be able to brake your love apart. i mean i am in the 5th year of my marriage with my wife and yeah sometimes i could kill her because always our love is being tested to the limit. dont let some perthetic woman with a mad obsession over someone who's heart belongs to you, drive you apart from each other.
I wish you both all the best in you marriage
A
female
reader, elemuse +, writes (7 October 2008):
You need to talk to both your fiance and his ex about this.
Does your fiance feel the same way about the nagging of his ex?
Aggressive people are either intimidated or incensed by confrontation, but either way it has to happen. Once you talk to her about it there's potential for things to change. Diplomacy is always a good start.
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