A
female
age
41-50,
*aira
writes:Well, i need an advise, me and my boyfriend were dating about 3 years, we did argue alot over stupid staf, the last time we got in to arguement things run out of control, he was trying to hold me back from breaking staf and some how i end up at the hospital with an broken arm, well i broke up with him, and after a while i just realize that I cant be without him, so we met and he told me that we don´t get along and he just want us to be friends,and he is not sure if he loves me still,that he is leaving to Irag for a year,and doesnt want to deal with it.How can a man, who was telling me that he loves me so much and wants to marry me and have children a week before we broke up tell me now that he is not sure about his feelings?I don´t know what to do, because i really want him back.
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female
reader, naira +, writes (7 October 2008):
naira is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for answers
A
male
reader, Butterman  +, writes (7 October 2008):
Well, if you are getting into physical bouts with your boyfriend which left you with a broken arm, that's a problem.
Ask yourself what you want back. Do you want the physical confrontations back? Or, do you want the happiness back?
It is important to ask yourself that, because the tendency of your fights to get physical has already proven itself.
Why would your boyfriend be waffling now? Likely because he's ashamed of himself for breaking your arm. I wasn't there so I don't know the details, but putting your hands on each other during an argument is NOT ACCEPTABLE. No questions asked. If either of you want this relationship to continue, then you need to talk to a family counselor. Because if your fights are getting physical now, it will only get worse.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (7 October 2008):
 If the relationship is that volatile, he maybe realised you 2 shouldn't be together. To end up in hospital with a broken arm isn't normal.
Maybe he's scared what will happen next and thinks its time to call it a day.
Doesn't sound much like he's wrong to be honest, from what you have said on here.
C xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Thats men for you always changeing their minds, First of all dont love some one who is not going to love you back, but since you cant help it heres my advice, try keeping your self busy, try dateing different people, or get a hobbie e.g writtting, full time job, arrangeing to go out with freinds, just to keep your mind off him and before you know it your soon be over him.
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A
female
reader, elemuse +, writes (7 October 2008):
He could be feeling guilty about hurting you, and guilt often drives people to self-fulfilling prophecies such as, "this can't work" or "I'm not a good person", etc.
Leaving for Iraq is another issue in itself, distance is difficult especially in such an insecure situation.
The two things combined make it difficult for a person to make a sound decision, perhaps he's worried that you'll find someone better in the time that he's gone and he doesn't want to deal with the pain of an affair or the like.
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