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How do I start relying on myself to make me happy?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Long distance, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, *inkpink24 writes:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for around 8 months now. We are completely different in so many ways eg our outlook on life, what we like to do for fun etc. He constantly wants to be out doing things, whereas im happy relaxing watching the tele. But now because hes such a 'get up and go' type of person, im starting to question my life, my choices and myself. I find myself untrusting of my own opinions and think I should be more like him.

I also find that he only really contacts me when hes bored and has nothing else to do and even when he does he doesnt listen to a word I have to say even though I listen to him telling me stories about what hes been doing. Our relationship feels completely one sided and I would sacrifice parts of my life for him, but he would never do that for me. Ive become so reliant on him to make me happy I start panicking if he doesnt contact me for a while. What also doesnt help is that we are doing a long distance relationship. How do I start relying on myself to make me happy? And how do I begin to trust myself as a person and trust my own opinions?

I've tried talking to him about how I feel, but he tends not to listen and I feel the more I talk about it the more I push him away and thats the last thing I want to do.

View related questions: long distance

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A female reader, Ginalolabridga United Kingdom + , writes (20 July 2009):

Ginalolabridga agony auntYou need to start feeling comfortable with yourself in order not to be so reliant on him, because if he gets to know this he could easily manipulate you over and over and believe me that is not healthy for you.

If for any reason you could be nearer to one another i think that would help because you could see one another more and that way you do become less reliant on them when you know they are a bus journey or a walk away from you.

I would aslo be talking to him about how you feel and how you feel he is treating you being open and honest right from the beginning is a healthy start to any relationship good luck.

Gina

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A female reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (20 July 2009):

Sugarbuns agony auntI do think there are some signs of trouble in this relationship. If it's possible, I think you should figure out a way to live in the same city if possible. (yes, it will probably be YOU that has to move) but you'll never know for sure if this thing is going to work out as long as you are apart so much of the time. It's possible for opposites to make it work but there has to be complete trust and respect on both sides. Good luck.

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