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Gay man with a dating question: is he leading me on?

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 August 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, *ersey78 writes:

This is my first time doing this. I am a gay male, 28. I have been seeing a guy for over three months now. Initially, I met this guy and we hit it off. After about 2-3 weeks of seeing each other, he asked me if we could become more serious, but did not want to scare me away. I consented and we started seeing each other more. Flash forward almost three months. One day I decided to ask the question if we were exclusive, since we have been dating for three months. He told me that "we did not sign a contract" and that we were just friends getting to know each other, not even dating. He wants to take his time. He also informed me that he still has profiles on dating sites. We are now going on four months of just being friends. We go out several times a week still and are making plans one/two months into the future. We are not very intimate (physical), but he does like holding my hand and kissing. I guess my questions is, do you think he is leading me on? In the past three weeks, he has changed a little too. He used to be more physical with me (touching of the body, etc). I brought this up to him and he said that he wanted it to feel right. This is after three months of him being more physical. I just do not know what is happening. Could anyone offer any insight for this confused, gay man?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009):

It sounds like your goals are not the same. If I were you, I wouldn't waste my time with him. He's been telling you he does not want to be serious, so take the hint and get out of there.

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A male reader, StevenRoss United Kingdom +, writes (19 July 2009):

I don't think you need to be gay to find his behaviour strange, however I am gay - I've been with my boyfriend for two years I still have profiles on 'dating' sites, my boyfriend didn't appreciate it but he now understands i'm not cheating I just enjoy talking to the people on there.

However, I think if you believe he's leading you on go with your instincts and ask him out right, it is strange he asked you to be more serious and now doesn't seem to want anything serious, but maybe he has commitment issues and if you like him and ask he about it you can work it out together.

Sorry, I've not helped too much just thought I'd give you my input seeing as no one else has, hope everything work out.

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