A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:in the time that i've been with my boyfriend which is nine months, he's cheated on me three times (only kissing) twice with the same girl, i've forgiven him obviously, not easily but he's still gone and done it again, he doean't think about the consequences of his actions and he doesn't realise how much he sometimes hurts me. I can't bear the thought of him being with someone else and when i think about him and someone else it actually makes me sick. I've never done anything to hurt him in the past and i want to do something to scare him, and let him know i'm serious, just so he knows how it feels and he can't just expect to be forgiven for what he does each time. It might sounds really childish but i think it's the only way i can actually get through to him, he's sixteen and i nearly am, and were in a pretty serious relationship and i really don't want to lose him. he constantly goes on about other girls in a jokey way, yet hates it if i point out or even talk about a fit lad i've seen or know, and expects to get away with things that i would never be able to.anyways, back to my question, if anyone could give me some ideas of how scare him and let him know that next time he does anything, thats it for us and i'm not going to be walked all over again, it would be really helpful, thanks x
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): Hi thereI have been with my hubby for about 3 years and maried under a year. I love him so so much and I now he loves me (if he dint I wont have free running with his bank card lol). But the thing is in the past I found text mesg and pics from other girls on his phone and I always said somthing it gos in to a fit and turns on to me not trusting him. But the other day I found pics that was tacken on the phone off a girl doing things to him and him doing things back, no his face was not on the pics but I now my husband if you now what I mean. when I found this and bonsed the phone off his head screaming at him is ran down stirs after me up set and when I asked if he was having anfer he held me close and said dont think that I love you and would never do that. but when I pointed out that 1 pic off the girl showing her bits was in our car he changed it on to me agin. It not been menshed again as we both found out we lost our unborn that same day, and he is going on about us trying again. I now he loves me but what do I do to get in to see what he is doing to me and us how can he think I will go near him when the pic dint show him wearing proteshon. What do I do to get back on top ?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your advice, it did help, i ended up in an argument with my mum and it ended up spilling out what he'd done, and she convinced me to end things with him.he was absolutley devastated; we both were, he cried for the first time infront of me, to his mum and apparently all night, it might sound stupid but after a couple of days we sorted things out, its not all great as my family don't approve, but everyone that knows us well enough thinks i did the best thing. I actually think that did scare him, not in the way i had intended because it was genuine at the time, anyways, thanks for the help, its sorted us out, even though we are back together, and i was advised not to look back :/. x
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female
reader, Christa ro +, writes (14 January 2009):
Yes there is 1 simple way to get back at him. Walk away and don't look back. You made 1 mistake,you forgave him the 1st time he cheated. you keep forgiving him and he's just gonna keep on cheating cos he'll know that you'll forgive him. trust me, i know cos i've been there myself
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (14 January 2009):
 Hi Hunny
I no you said you wanted to scare him, I'm feeling here you want a little pay back for the hurt he has put you through..I also no that as you say you cannot be without him..You wont agree with what I'm going to say sweetheart but it is all meant out of caring about your situation..
If you don't want to be walked over then the best way to deal with this is to not see him for awhile, Not easy I no. But if this continues love he is not going to take anything in your relationship seriously as it stands at this moment he is betraying your trust and as time goes on you will trust less and less, The reason he is probably jealous of you mentioning other guys or things of that nature is not only because he is jealous its because he knows what he is capable of hunny...If your thinking of giving him a scare say with another guy being interested in you this could backfire big time and only cause you more pain...I have a friend who is a few years older than you I'll get her to write you love PLEASE TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, rasher3  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 hi he is never going to change you are too forgiven i would kick him to the kerb life is too short to be putting up with this there is a man out there for you that will treat you like a princess and you deserve it dont let him take your spirit
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female
reader, bitch  +, writes (14 January 2009):
This boyfriend you have is not being nice to you or fair. You should just tell him it is over. That would scare him if he really wants to be with you. If he doesn't want to be with you, it won't matter what you say. And in that case, you should not want to be with somebody that doesn't want to be with you. You deserve better my friend....like you said, you are not a doormat and therefore stop forgiving him
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A
female
reader, ecstasy  +, writes (14 January 2009):
 the only way to scare him is to BREAK UP with him and moving on with your life.... sweetheart there are loads of fish in the sea!!!! dont allow anyone to treat you like that!
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female
reader, MT19 +, writes (14 January 2009):
The fact that he's cheated 3 times and that you want to 'scare' him suggests this is not the healthiest of relationships in the first place. The mature thing to do would be to sit him down & explain that his cheating is not acceptable that it hurts you and you will not stand for it again. Tell him its his last chance if it happens again you are gone.
However, if i was you i would leave him anyway he's already hurt you 3 times how much more are you going to stand?
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