| A
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My colleague and I have a very good relationship. He is someone very supportive and protective of me. A handsome and neat guy with high sense of morality. I am 4 months in the job and we have had a lot to talk about. We have a good rapport and understanding with each other. He is now expressing he is falling for me but doesn’t know what to do with it. I had fallen badly in love with him on the 1st month in the job but I had to suppress my feelings because I did not want to lose focus. I took time to observe him and his behavior. He opened about his divorce which happened 3yrs ago. I could sense he was not available at that time too. So, I backed off. I started seeing another man (for 2 months) which he got to know. There’s another man who (is a colleague from another division who expressed to my guy friend that he is into me and he must stay make way for him. I don’t have feelings for the other guy so I rejected him immediately. The friend now suddenly broke the news that he has a a crush on me and is falling for me every time we engage. We talk about everything personal. Even though we keep it professional majority of time. He is always in my office and we go out for eats and drinks often. I like him a lot, but I want to take things very slowly. My fear is that he is the kind of man I could fall for but I am careful to not let my hair down at work.He has never hit on anyone at work even though he is cordial with everyone. I had suspicions he could be a player because he is very fine. I don’t get any signs even when I search casually from other colleagues and clients. I do feel he’s also trying very hard to suppress how he feels by asking if I really do not want to hookup with other colleagues or when the men clients come to our office he insists I meet them and would ask if I don’t want “cool, wealthy and fine” boyfriends. I think he’s testing me and trying not to appear needy or jealous.How do I respond to his confession that he is falling for me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (18 January 2018):
 Dating someone you work with is seldom a smart move. What happens if the relationship doesn't work out? Can you carry on working together or will one of you need to find a new job? What is management's view on co-workers dating? Some companies take a dim view of romance in the workplace.
That aside, it sounds like you two may have a good connection. Your wish to take things slowly is very wise.
To answer your question about how you handle his declaration of "falling" for you, I would tell him you are open to the idea of a relationship BUT that you don't want to rush into anything. Tell him why you have doubts. Tell him your worries. Tell him your reservations. In short, talk, talk and then talk some more. If, after all the talking, you both still want to go ahead with this relationship, then do but proceed with caution.
Good luck. I really hope it works out for you both.
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