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How do I react on my actress girlfriend intimate scenes on screen or on stage ?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2017)
A male India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend is an Actor

she has not yet done any intimate or kissing scene but i am very uncomfortable with that.

i have read many articles on this but i really dont know how to over come this situation, she says she doesnt mind kissing on screen.

i really love her and i really cant see her kissing anyone else.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (14 November 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntMaybe you shouldn't be dating an actress if you are not completely comfortable with this. I get where you are coming from, I would be the same, but that is why I would never start dating someone in this kind off business because it wouldn't be the life for me.

At the end off the day this is her job and if she is comfortable doing it then you need to decide if this is the relationship for you and can you handle this?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2017):

I quite understand your dilemma. While this might not be such a big issue in Europe and America, it is very critical issue in the Asian and Middle Eastern societies. I think she should not accept roles where kissing and bedroom scenes take place. I am sure that great majority of Asian men wouldn't accept their wives or daughters to play such scenes. She should refuse such roles.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (12 November 2017):

If she is growing a career for herself; she will have to make these decisions in order to further her artistic pursuits.

I'd be very uncomfortable myself; considering what the leading-man would look like, or the kind of guy he could be.

She is pursuing her dream. Her profession is a world of fantasy, illusion, and the imitation of life. If you love and support her, you must bear this in-mind.

Don't force someone already pursuing a dream to choose between you and their dream. It's not fair. With success and notoriety; comes many responsibilities and demands. Getting a well sought-after part may depend on her talent, professionalism, creativity, and doing whatever the part calls for.

If you can't handle an actor, find a lady in another profession. If you're looking for a house-wife; you may have chosen the wrong young woman. They will not rewrite the script to suit your discomforts.

I suggest you bite the bullet; or she may be forced to pursue her career without you. She has no responsibility to cater to your insecurities, when you walked into her life knowing exactly what she does, and where she plans to go with it.

Don't get yourself too worked-up, cross that bridge when you get to it.

I know that passionate love-scenes are rarely very explicit in India. Unless she's working for a very big-named and influential movie producer; love-scenes may not be much more passionate than you would see on a teenage after-school drama.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (11 November 2017):

Denizen agony auntThis can be very challenging. The theatrical profession has many breakups, because actors have to work closely and intimately. They have to share emotional experiences and it can be difficult to shut them off when the curtain falls.

So for you and her this is all about trust. Can you trust her not to get involved with someone else off stage?

If it is too hard for you then something must change. That would mean her looking for different parts, leaving the profession, or you two splitting up.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (11 November 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntTry to think of it as just a job. She may not even GET any intimate scenes.

I hear actors saying over and over again that these scenes are anything but intimate in real life. Remember, the couple are not alone. There are usually lighting crew and camera crew and a director and other people all just out of shot of the camera. Most actors say that, if anything, these scenes are funny and the actors involved need to concentrate most on not laughing.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (11 November 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntThen you're dating the wrong girl.

I get it. I'd be uncomfortable too, but it's her job and you know that, so it's your choice whether you date someone who may need to do that in their job or find someone who isn't an actress.

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