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How do I move on, get over him, stop thinking about him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Health, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 May 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, *rokenRose91 writes:

I broke up with the love of my life about a year ago. He was all good at first, but at the end of our relationship he turned into this horrific monster. I have every right to hate him. But i just cant get over him. I still love him, and im still grieving over him. He has moved on apperently, i can't help but check his emails/facebook account daily. I really cant help myself. He sends constant emails to this one girl, and he has these hotel "thank you for staying" emails. It really kills me inside to see all this infront of my eyes. I just want to get over him and i dont know what to do. Im always sad and depressed, i think about him 24/7. I really loved him from the bottom of my heart, i thought he was the one for me. He promised that we will always stay together, he promised that he was going to marry me some day, we also had picked out names for our kids that we're going to have one day.

He really changed all of a sudden, without any explanation to his sudden change. He left me confused, he called me some really bad names, he hung up on my face when i used to call him and cry for him not to leave me.

I really dont know what to do with my life anymore. I know im better off without him. It just seems to me that its not fair that he is happy while im suffering. All i want is to be happy again.

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A female reader, straight to the truth United Kingdom +, writes (2 May 2012):

First things first..stop checking his emails and facebook! this is stalking and you have no right to be keeping tabs on him.

If you stop checking up on him this will also allow you to start moving on. The only reason you are missing him so much is because you haven't even attempted to move on.

If you moved on and met someone else then you would realise that you ex is irrelevent to the rest of your life and he doesn't deserve you.

So stop stalking him, find someone new and realise he is not the only person on the planet for you, you are young and can move on.

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A male reader, Daniel the love doctor United States +, writes (2 May 2012):

Daniel the love doctor agony auntI'm sorry to hear about your situation. I think the first thing you need to do is stop checking his email/Facebook account. You're setting yourself up for more disappointment, heartbreak, and potential anger if you continue to do so. Not to mention it's also a privacy issue. And if he finds out that you're doing that, it can create a huge problem for you.

Secondly, you have to be honest with yourself. As much feelings that you may have for this guy- if he's such a horrible person that has treated you bad, do you really want to be with him? I believe the answer will be no. And if that's the case you have to work on moving forward.

Now it's clear that you won't be able to find happiness with your ex, so you have to first find it within yourself- then allow yourself to be open to the possibility of finding it with someone else. There are many great guys out there that are willing to treat you well- and love you just as much as you would love them. Just be proactive in your search (show your interest in guys you like or find attractive, go on a lot of dates, etc), believe that it's possible to meet Mr. Right, and don't hold the next guy accountable for the way your ex treated you. Give him a fair shot to show you how different he is.

Getting over an ex is never easy. And from time to time they may cross your mind- especially when you have/had such strong feelings for a person. But whether you're seeking help from a therapist or friend, getting rid of old pictures of you and your ex together, or erasing his number, it's important that you take the necessary steps to move forward in your life.

I wish you the best!

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