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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have the problem that in my last two relationships I had got used and now I'm trying to look again but may have bitten off more than I can chew, because I have two girls that I really like I'm not in a relationship with either, and the one girl "C" we get along really well and I enjoy her company and spending time with her but the sex life is boring and mundane and I cant seem to spice it up and I feel she's falling strongly for me. The other girl "L" and I have quite a bit in common with and we enjoy each others company and the sex is good and I quite like her as well but we've only known each other for a couple weeks, but I don't want to mess anyone around and I don't know how tell "C" that I want to slow things down without burning any bridges. Any help will be appreciated
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 do these girls know about the other? are you making it seem like they are each your one and only? if you are that's wrong...
first thing you must do is be open and honest with both of these women that you are dating more than one AND HAVING SEX with both of them. I hope you are using condoms.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012): you just have to go to C. open your mouth. say "I cannot see you anymore. I hope you will forgive me if this seems insensitive... but I don't think this will work.."
And no you cannot do this without not burning any bridges... after you've had sex.. you've created a very profound bridge.. one which links you to her.. you are messing around.. and if she comes to know the truth.. she will be mad as hell..
You have to let her go.. you are being a selfish jerk.. just man up, choose one and un-complicate everybody's life.. and stop posting on advice columns..
Seriously it's hard to give advices when people are acting like jerks..
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A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (5 March 2012):
What do u mean dont mess any one around?????!!! You are getting involved with 2 girls and having sex with both of them... You are messing around... It doenst even seem like you want to settle down in a relationship if u did you would have focused on C, but u found another girl...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012): "How do I manage dating two girls without messing anyone around?"
You don't because you can't. Dating two girls at once IS messing both of them around. Don't use your own past stupidity as an excuse to perpetuate your own future stupidity at two innocent young women's expense. Grow up.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 Tell them both (but not at the same time) you enjoy their company but that you are not ready for a one on one committed relationship with anybody yet. If they question further tell them you are not ready to settle down with a steady girlfriend.
You will be telling the truth and the girls will have the opportunity to decide what to do as a result, to accept or not, as they chose.
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