A
male
age
26-29,
*iguy12345
writes:My love life is crazy now. I met a guy and i really like him and he loves me but we have a long distance relationship and i think i have gotten over him i promised him i would not break his heart. How do i make him break up with me instead? I also need to know how can i tell if i still love him before i do anything.
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (16 July 2012):
 You shouldn't stay with someone if you don't love them - it's stopping both of you from finding someone who does love you back. It's not fair to try and put him off you, so if you tell him the truth he will respect your honesty.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 July 2012):
 If you want to break up with him you don’t love him.
If you have not met in person there is no way he could actually love you.. he’ doesn’t really know you…
You can’t make someone break up with you to do your dirty work… it hurts but only short term for both of you… even if he comes here posting that he met a girl online and she promised she would not break his heart and she did, he will get over it.
1. Do not pretend that you will be friends when this is over… you won’t. I don’t get this younger generation needing to be FRIENDS with an ex….
2. Tell him, look we are young, it’s long distance, it’s not working out for me, I’m sorry but I think it’s for the best that we consider moving on to other relationships.
3. If he fights you on it don’t get into it with him… just don’t make plans with him after you let him know you want to break up… if he emails you or texts you just keep being busy… be polite and don’t lead him on….
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Good grief. You can't fool us. You're not trying to get him to break up with you to avoid hurting him. You're trying to avoid looking like the bad guy. That's selfish and cowardly, like jinxx said.
If you actually care about how he feels, then you do the honorable thing. Make the break gently. Tell him that the distance isn't working out for you, and that you care about him, but want to move on and call it quits. Is it going to hurt him? Sure. But doing it honestly, gently, and honorably is the best possible way. Don't promise to be friends. Don't promise that things can be different down the line. Don't prolong the conversation either.
Also, if you have to "tell that you still love him", then you don't. So let him down gently, but you break up with him. Though it doesn't seem like it, you're doing the guy a favor. If you don't love him, by setting him free, you're freeing him to find someone who will shower him with love without reservation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2012): just tell him your leaving because you dont want to hurt him.
if you think your over him you most probly are. long distance relationships hardly ever work out because txts and phone calls just arent enough. and are you even inlove with him? i loved my first partner but was never inlove with him, just thought i was.
you could even say your just not ready to be in a long distance relationship because you need physical affection.
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Well, you're asking us for advice on how to get him to break up with you instead of you doing it yourself. Then you say you want to know how to tell if you still love him before you do anything.
I think it's safe to say you DON'T love him.
As for getting him to break up with you? Come on. That is just a cowardly way out. We all make promises we can't keep, that's life. If you don't have feelings for him anymore, tell him that, and end the relationship. It'll be much easier on him to do that, than to string him along or be cruel to him so he'll break up with you, instead!
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