A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ummm....I am confused because I am in love with someone that is not willing to love me the way I had hoped to be loved. We have been in a relationship for over 8 years and I know that both of us have been faithful to each other. He is a workaholic and consumed with earning a living. I respect him for his efforts and I also love that he is passionate about his job but he works 24-7. I am often left at home a lot because he works all night. I am his last priority because I make the least amount of money. I am really lonely. We also stopped sleeping in the same room, having sex and I have to force him to be attentive to me. He constantly talks about his job and asks me for advice. The whole relationship is dominated by him. I should also note that he does not give me any money at all. What is his is his and mine is mine. I do not want it that way but he does. He can't turn off his cell ever (and he cuts me off the moment I start talking about my life). I love him though because I have formed a security with him and I am afraid to leave. I live in LA and I am right at the age where I am becoming less attractive to others. I am now in my late 30's in an environment that loves youth. I also wanted to have kids by now but he most likely would not have the time for them. How do I leave someone I love and how can I start over and this age?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): Just leave, it gets easier after the fear is over.
But, try counseling first, if you still love him.
How he treats you is weird, at best, I made 3 times what my wife made, I now make 5 times what she could have been making. But, my paycheck is hers, my house is hers, my kids are hers, nothing that I say or do is for anyone other than her.
Some people aren't wired that way, usually because they have issues from their childhood or younger years.
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (4 June 2011):
 You just leave....that's it. It is very scary to start over especially where you live, but there is someone out there who will have time for you and respect you.
Being 30 and over is not a death sentence...with that age comes beauty, wisdom, nurturning...don't ever sell yourself short because of your age darling. Think of yourself like wine...it gets better with age = )
But you DO deserve better than that man, much better. So take that bold step, walk away and start a life of your own...enjoy your life, go to the gym, the beach, get a hobby....you will meet other people...but for goodness sake, please leave the piglet that you are with.
Be blessed
...............................
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