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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a huge dilemma. I am 16 years old. How do you know if you are in love with someone? And what do you do if you have a crush on someone a lot older than you? Please help me!
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female
reader, AStarThatShines  +, writes (30 July 2008):
You need to understand the concept of Love rather than seeing it as something in particular that someone else might have. No one will feel it the same way you do. Love is feelings and emotions towards individuals or things. Usually when we consider love between two people it's about a special human bond - A opposed to loving that item of clothing because it makes you feel good (more of a bond with oneself in my opinion). Those who feel in love may feel it in different ways, it's never the same feeling for anyone else, even for your partner. A human bond is based on understanding, background, culture, physical and emotional electricity. This is why partners may argue after some time as they thought they knew each other but reality is this - No one ever knows you as much as you know yourself regardless of how long you've been together. If you can get through all the trials and tribulations that the journey of life has to offer - and still remain two different people who can continue wanting to learn and develop your bond - Then it's safe to say you are likely to be feeling what is regarded as love. The one thing we all get wrong is that we believe after some time our partners know us well enough not to do certain things or say the words they chose to say. You have to remember that your partner is not your mind and you are not your partners mind. So it's best to remain as two people, the mistake is to think you become one person. This only makes you lose your identity. Know who you are, where you're going, what you want and when you decide to settle, find out the same answers from your partner. If you have doubts - say so, maybe there's an explanation. If there is no explanation once you've voiced your doubts about the relationship then it's probably best to accept the fact you will not strengthen your human bond.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Hey well i am 14 and yes im totally in love with an 18 yr old so i can understand your questions, i know i am in love with him, i think bout him 24/7 and i miss him all the time and i wud do absultly naything for him and i think that is how u no ur in love.. also i dont think its weired 2 like some1 older than u just go for it unless they r more than 10 yrs olda in that case it is a bit too much. but just think of it wen your older age doesnt seem a lot.. like an 8yr old and a 14 yr old seem way too different but a 38yr old and a 44 yr old doesnt seem as much does it..anyeways i hope this helps. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): I am in the exact same boat as you. Age shouldn't be an issue, if you truly love them, age is just a number. In my case he's 7 years older. I wonder the same thing and everyone makes fun of me but at the end of the day, it's whats right for you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): i actually started thinking about if i love my boyfriend or not.. so i started searching the internet about what people though love was, and i foun this page. with really good answers by the way. I live here... and my boyfriend lives very very far away. After having met him 5 months ago, and after living the most incredible 4 months of my life with him... we have already been apart for 1 month and a half... (i will fly to see him in 10 days) and here is when i start doubting whether i love him, or if im with him only because he loves me... but after all this questioning, what i really know, and what im certain of, is that I LOVE HIM.
because whenever i doubt it, i remember those days we spent together and what i felt when i was with him, and what i felt the second we were apart either to go to the bathroom or to work... and how i felt that i didnt want to fall asleep because all i could think of was that i was wasting my time sleeping (even though we slept together the entire 4 months) when i could be talking with him... or doing any other thing but being unconcsious... sleeping.
so i remember those moments, those feelings... and i know im in love.
I know I'm in love because I imagine a near future, and if i don't see him in that near future, if you don't see him by my side (even though he lives far away) if hes not part of my near future... i get this big ball of i dont know what (air) in mt throat and it makes it hard to breathe.. and then i start to cry. and so i know I LOVE HIM.
because i, presently, can't imagine my life without him.
and if that changes in the future? who cares, future is uncertain, one must live the present. and the present is him and me, together.
I know maybe this wasnt able to answer your question but know that your question (and many of the answers you got) helped me clear my mind...
so thank you for that, and hope you're happy!
CAUSE I AM!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): Love isn't trust. We can put our trust in alot of people. It isn't honesty. We can be truthful to anybody.
Love isn't a noun or a verb. Love is just Love. It's when you wake up in the morning and you smile because the first thing you think of is Love. It's when you go to bed at night and cry because for several hours, you can't think about Love. Love is when you leave someone behind and when it's too late you realise you've made the biggest mistake of your life but you can never go back. Love is when you can honestly say you would die for someone. Love is when you cry because it hurts so much knowing that you'll never see them again. So don't make the mistake I did. If you think you love somebody then let them know before it's too late.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): hello
i no what you are on about i think u should just go for it really and yes 16 years old can love and dnt let anyone tell if hes older than you then u have to be carefull but if he loves u and u love him then im sure your parents wouldnt mind. member they are only lookin out 4 yh :)
u only live once live like its yur last =D
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female
reader, AskEve + ♥, writes (2 March 2008):
 If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
~Eve~
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): Believe me, you will know when you love someone, it is hard to explain what love really is, love is such a strong word. Love is when you dont really want to spend anytime without that person and if you find that your thinking or maybe even talking about that person a lot.See i find im in love right now, and my girlfriend knows it, i tell her everyday, we have only been together for 5 months and its just such a SPECTACULAR feeling or vibe, i get from this girl. I guess that is what you could call love.love is different for everyone though, but remember you would know if your in love. some of these things below i have been reading and some are rather good i read one what says, ' you wouldn't be asking your self 'do i love them?'if you love them.' i did that very thing when i had time alone i asked myself 'do i really love her' and the answer was YES, COURSE I DO, think about, if you didn't love that person you wouldn't EVEN be thinking about asking yourself that question, it would come in to your mind if you didn't. See because you are asking yourself this, this maybe a start to where you THINK you are ''in love''. who knows... only you know when your in love...!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): well im 15 and i have a girlfriend that might be pregnet like i know i love her but it sucks that i find all these signs that shes cheating on me. like im not dumb the signs are in my face its just everytime i confront her with what i find out she just makes this hole big lie. like i dont want to brake up with her but its all these things that are all in my face that i make all these dumb excuses for... well i dont want to be the bad guy and brake up with her and leave her cause im not that kind of guy its like sometimes i dont think shes pregnet sometimes i thinks shes just saying that just so i can stay with her... man i dont know what to do? i dont know if im in love
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Im 16 years old and i have a best friend named tosha. She is already in love with a wonderful guy. He does different thing for her then a normal guy would do for his girlfriend. She's never felt the same way about a guy like she does Aaron. Age dont matter at all. its just a number. She's 16 and he's 19. And they plan on getting married soon. Take my advise and see how thing turn out. good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): u know u in love when your around that person and just get all bubbly inside and everything in a way reminds you of that person and u cant listen to love music cause ur thinking bout that person and it hurts and u cant get ur mind off them and you know u dont want nobody else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): if u have to ask, you are not in love... sorry but your not. when i fell in love i knew right away
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007): i can relate to your question because i had a huge crush on someone older than me and i started talking to him and finally i told him how i felt about him and he said that he had a crush on me too and he wanted us to try and have a relationship and we are in a relationship we have been in this relationship quite a long time so i would advice to go ahead and tell him how you feel about him after all you never if he feels the same way about you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): From experience I always like older men. Some were good and most of them was not. I can't tell you what to do because you'll act upon your feelings no matter what. I tell my 16 year old sister to wait because there is no need to rush anything. Enjoy life as it is. A relationship will come your way eventually so don't move too fast. Wait as long as you can. For the love part you will know if you are really in love or not. For one know the difference between love and lust because it will confuse you. I've been in love with this guy for two years now and we are not dating only because we both have a career ahead of us. Never rush anything because you'll enjoy it more when you don't. Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): First i want to say if the person is older than you in that he is over the age of 18, at this point i would not act on it. I know that being in love is a great feeling but i have seen this so many times where you are in love but all he wants is to play. You are a younge lady and you need to respect yourself because no one ellse will. I can say however when i was 14 i dated this guy who was 18 now this was a big age diffrence but since i respected myself so did he. I know he truly liked me for me because he never pushed or asked about sex at all. (and it never happened) so in conclution if that boy is ready to wait until you say go then maybe a realationship is not a bad idea but you need to make sure you dont make any quick decisions that you will regret when he is gone leaving behind you and a baby.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): i cant really speak in ur situation but ive known this guy for 3 years and the first time i met him i already knew i loved him. and we talked and we staarted to mess around and i never get to close because im afraid of getting hurt and i just pushed him away and i stopped talking to him and i still love him so much i cant stop thinking about him and i try to date other people but something in my head want let me when i see him my heart beats so fast and im afraid to talk to him thats all we do is look at eachother i cant get him out of my head. i dont know what to do. but im telling you tell him before its to late because your gonna drive yourself crazy everyday if you dont tall to him about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): well if you are in love you know, you will get butterflies in your stomach, and your heart tells you, and if you have a crush on someone older then find out how s/he feels about you, then act on it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): how you will know that what you are experiencing is love is when you have a real trial, like a sickness or devastating tragedy. a person who loves you and is there even when they want to run away. when you are willing to put their best interest before your own.... to the point of death... that is love. when nothing else would make you happier then their happiness... that is love. choosing daily to remain faithful to that person is love. giving of yourself daily is love. doing the dishes is a sign of love, and if they do it without being asked... that is even stronger love:) going to work to provide for a family is love. dealing with sreaming toddlers and an infant all day is love. catch my drift? love isn't the butterflies... although they will come an go love is being comitted when the butterflies have flitted away. love is discipline. love is a choice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): well the thing is, everybody at some point will think they are, or even BE in love with someone older than them. if the person you love is over 21 you really have to wait until you turn 18 before you do anything. ask yourself these questions.1.do you have a good relatioship with this older person as a friend?2.does this older person respect you for who you are, flaws and all?3.does this older person make you feel as though you have a place in the world?4.do you smile every time you see this person?5.would you be willing to give up this person if you knew it was the right thing?if you answered no to any of the questions you really need to think about what you are doing. i know someone who is 18 and her boyfriend is 29. they are the most beautiful couple you will ever see but they waited and stayed as friends until she turned 18. He respected that she had to wait. If the older person in your life cant respect that you have to be legally of age, then they might not be interested in you at all.please be very careful if you are thinking about getting in to a proper realtionship with someone alot older than yourself. I'm notsaying that if you are in love with someone older, you can never be a proper couple. I'm saying that sometimes, if your partner can't accept who you are, and can't accept you age and legal rights, its not love, its lust.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): well i know a girl she is my best friend and im madly in love with her i have known her for 6 months and i cant get her out of my head every since day one i dont even talk to other chicks becaueus i cant think of theme she is the only person i think about and i cant stop thinking about her if i do something its boreing unless she is there and i dont want a gf becaeeus im happy just being her frind that is satiscfiying enoff for me and if ur in love trust me you dont care about being wtih some one u just care if there happy and that ur there by theme to help theme in life
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): Its not bad to have a crush on someone older than you! its pure nature. And how do you tell if you love them you ask?
simple if you really love them all you will want for him/her all you will want is for his/her happiness.
if you have never felt that way about anyone else in your life it might also be love
i hope i have helped
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007): i think that you know your in love with someone.. when u just cant stop thinking or talking about them when u drive ur mates insane because u jus keep going on and on about them..also when you see them talkin or even looking at another girl and u feel jealous....but then again this could just be a crush..
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): you will know if you in love if you have extremmly strong feelings for this person and the type of feelings you don't have for anyone else
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): if you really love this person you will get different knids of feelings feelings ou have never felt before torwards ny other guy your heart will beat faster and faster the closer you get to this guy and if you have a rush on soem one you should let this person know cuz you never know he could have feelings for you and if he don't at least you will know and you wouldn't have to waste all your time on one guy you can look for others but the thing is is that you don't want to look for a guy you want the love between them come together
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2007): amon to what aj said. but i'm a 14 year old guy and i've been seeing a girl for 6 days. i can't get her out of my head, and when i'm not thinking of her, i'm dreaming about her. and when i hold her, hug her, kiss her, talk to her, or even hear about her my heart just starts RACING. and i don't mean just beating a little bit faster, i mean it beats like it would beat if i were terrified. also, i get that butterflies in my stomach feeling. anyway, i told her friend my feelings for her my girlfriends and her friend told me i'm in love. when i first heard it, i thought it was totally impossible because my girlfriend and had only been dating for 5 days. so i don't know. i think i'm starting to believe it, but i just don't know. what do any of you think????
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): ull know wen u love some 1 when u carnt sleep and all u wonna do is be wit him
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): Dont worry bout it mate, i was inlove with a girl for the first time in december 2006, at the time i was only 16.
The only way to know and this is how i knew i were inlove, me and my ex girlfriend, we split up now due to this other lad, we sat down with each other and talked about how much we liked each other and hoe much we liked to be with around eachother. If you really like this girl or your gitrl friend, talk to her about your and her feelings, talk about wot i have mentioned, if you really like this girl i recommend that you go for it, but wot ever you do, dont come on too strong, you really dont want to scare her off.
AJ
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): Im unsure if im in love my girlfriend says she loves me but she doesnt think we will last that long. i dont know how to make are relationship stronger but i think im in love. i always want to be with her and when we are together its heaven and as for the older guy thing its a phase you go through but if you really think you're in love with him go for it you have nothing to lose.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2005): I don't really know if i can help you but i can give you an advice or two i guess. i personnaly care about someone a LOT and have been with that person for almost 3 months now. Sometimes i think i'm really in love but sometimes i keep worrying if i really do because i really don't feel like leaving that person. I know i love her when i start worrying over her being 15 minutes late, when i just dropped her at her house and that i can't wait to go back to see her the next day, when we're laying on her and she's sleeping in my arms and that i look at her and think god how can i be so lucky to have a girl like her that loves me... Sometimes i worry if i love her, i think the only reason i think i like is because i like to hold her, kiss her and other stuff.
After all i know i'm in love because we always think the same way, we're so confortable with eachother and we care for eachother more than anything else.
I love you jess
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reader, Delila +, writes (12 September 2005):
Love take time to grow, it happens as we get to know another person, we get to know them inside out, when you have rows and made up and been through hard times and good times, and they are like your best friend and your closest companion and the first person you want to tell when something happens. You couldn't imagine living without them. When you make love together you feel like god and goddess and you feel your bodies melting together, and you like their smell and their feet and all their flaws. When you fancy someone like mad it is different, you feel hot and bothered when they are around, you think about them all the time and you hardly know them really.
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reader, Loooooooove Miester +, writes (10 September 2005):
If you are in love with someone you get excited when around her. If you have a crush on someone older you should tell them how you feel because if you do she might feel the same.(after all some times ladies like younger men.)
Yours
The Loooooooove Miester
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reader, keeneye +, writes (10 September 2005):
You're not in love.
Period.
You're 16, and you're just now feeling the pangs of want and need. Oh, I know it can feel intense, but you're not any different than me, the guy next door, your parents, or even your enemies. Everyone is "boy" or "Girl" crazy at your age. I promise, you'll get over it.
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reader, missdee +, writes (9 September 2005):
It is normal for a sixteen year old to have a crush on someone older. I don't know how much older this guy is than you but he needs to be close enough to your age to have things in common with you.
While its true girls mature faster then guys, its only 2 or 3 years faster. How much experience has this guy had?? Has he ever been married?? Has he got kids. Make a list of all the things you two have in common and then all the things you don't.
You will think you are in love many times in your life, but when you really are in love you will know. Give it some time, get to know each other, find out about him. Then if you are not sure, give someone else a chance.. When you find the Mr. Right. You will know ! ..Don't just into a marriage you could later regret.. give it time... True Love never dies!!
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reader, Stop n Think +, writes (9 September 2005):
Forget all the crap about pheromones and that. You are 16. Underage. Legally prohibited in most countries from having sex. There are millions of adolescents like you around the world. I know its boring, but DO YOUR STUDIES, involve yourself with your friends and stay clear of older Wierdos until you have a job, car and roof over your head.
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reader, pops +, writes (9 September 2005):
If you have a crush on someone a lot older, you accept the fact that you are normal for a sixteen year old. How do you know you are in love? That is an age old question. There is no one answer. The poets and muses have been writing about it for centuries, and composers write more songs about love than any other topic. You may be in love if you are more concerned about the welfare of that person, than in your own, and would risk your life to save his. You might be in love if you tingle all over every time he gets near; or if you hear his name; if you think about him and miss him even a few moments after last being with him; if being with him makes you happy all the time, and you find yourself laughing so much that your ribs hurt, and the muscles in your face cramp up, but you don't care. And you may be in love if your mouth goes dry when he approaches, your knees shake, your pussy gets wet, and your nipples harden at the sight of him. If not love, you are at least in lust with him, and that is a big part of being in love. Give yourself time to grow up, and enjoy experiencing all these feelings while being so young. YOu can expect to love and fall out of love several times in your life, so this is just the first. and, expect that if you really are in love, you will always have a warm place in your heart for him, even if the two of you never get together. There are phermones and hormones at work that you can't control, and which will make you attracted to people, whether you like them or not. Relationships are built on friendship, trust, and then love, and lust. Don't get them out of order, no matter what your body is trying to tell you.
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reader, daniella +, writes (9 September 2005):
love is strong when your in love you feel lost without him you think about him all the time when your with him or around him your heart beats faster and you get butterflys.
If you have a crush on someone older than you it depends how older if hes like in his 30s its just a teenage crush you wil go through them stages and you should never take it further you will only end up hert. good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2005): a crush is more lust it will go away after a while thats just a part of growing up....but real love is always thinking about that person, u notice things about them which make u smile, its real feelings not just lust and wen u leave that person u cant wait 2 see them agen :)your always reading there texts stuff like that.
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reader, Captain_Charisma2202 +, writes (8 September 2005):
Well all I can say is love has to be returned as well. and your 16 its unlikely your are in love Im 15 and yes i have major crushes and you know you can mistake it for love but i doubt it is. ...hope that helped
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