A
female
age
26-29,
*ooh14
writes:Hello cupids, ok so my friend and her boyfriend (now her ex) has had sex in a school park..so while they were having sex this one girl claimed that she seen them.so now the girl who have seen them been going around our whole school telling ppl what she saw and stuff starting spreading rapidly.the stuff eventually got back to my friend and she was real mad.later on that night she had admited to me that she had did it and it was true but she didnt want anybody else to know or think bad of her.so ppl starting comin to her and she was tellin them no it didnt happen bcuz she didnt want that to get back to her little sisters and brother and then to her mom,most of the time she would just put her head down and walk away.so then they would ask me and i wouldnt know what to say cuz i didnt want 2 lie but den again it aint nobody business so i just told them to ask her..my friend has been really mad lately and ppl have been shouting out hurtful things to her makin her feel bad.me and her was wondering will it eventually clear on its on? or how do she clear her name up so ppl cud start back respecting her?..thanx for all help
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female
reader, pebble  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Maybe next time, she should wait until she's adult enough to deal with the consequences of having sex. And not do it in the park because that's just vile.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): First tell your mate to have sex in private, appropriate places. Now about the friend issue. Don't worry it will blow over.before you know it, it will be yesterdays news and there will be a new gossip topic
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Just say, wow who cares?! Don't you have anything better to talk about or do you just have sadlives, and have to focus on other people's sex lives because you aren't getting any?!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 May 2009):
 Tell your friend to stop having sex til she can handle the consequences. Having sex at the school park is really a stupid thing to do.
It will eventually blow over ( summer is almost here anyhow)
Be her friend and LEARN from this.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (13 May 2009):
 If she is grown up enough to have sex in public, she is grown up enough to deal with the consequences.... Welcome to the adult world!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): to be honest if you do soomthing like that you have to what comes after if your friend didnt want to be caught having sex she shoudnt have done it at your school and of corse its not going to be nice for everybody calling her names an you said its nono of any ones buisness but im afraid shes made it there buisnes by doing it at a school were every one goes to shes need to have a bit more respect for her self then she woudnt get herself in to these situations. if i did somthing like i would take full responsabilty she just needs to walk round with her head held hi and act like she doesnt care what any one thinks even if she does people arnt going to be talking about this for the rest of there live it just seems bigger becouse its happing to ur friend
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A
female
reader, Seven_Deadlies +, writes (13 May 2009):
 The attention span of school kids is very short. Eventually if you and your friend just dismiss this rumour, they will all find something else to talk about.
Its a horrible feeling knowing that people are talking about you in the wrong way so keep supporting her. But you have to tell her that it was wrong and she shouldn't do something like that again. Try to keep her out of trouble and stick up for her when she needs it the most.
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A
male
reader, Harry Castle +, writes (13 May 2009):
 I would lie, lie, and lie again!
Why? Because lying is far less bad in this case than letting your friend down, especially as the consequences for her of letting this get back to her family are FAR worse than a few mendacious words from you.
She's a friend, so stick by her and do whatever it takes; it seems from what you say that you are the only one to be looking out for her.
How do you know she didn't do what she is being accused of? Because she was somewhere else at the time, with you. That should shut them up.......
Harry.
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A
male
reader, Mr.Insignificant +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Her is how she can clean up her rep:
1. Stop having sex
2. If she must have sex, stop having sex in public
3. You need to stop confirming that your friend did indeed have sex.
4. Assume that EVERYONE knows the truth already and just stop talking about it.
5. She needs to respect herself, her family, and her public image when making choices.
6. She needs to accept that the abuse that she is receiving right now is because of her choice. That however does not make it right at all.
7. If she is willing to do so, she should humbly pull the person that is saying these things to the side and politely ask them to not say these things as they are hurtful to her.
In time, opinions will change for the better but that will only come from her making more discreet choices.
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (13 May 2009):
 Yes, this will eventually blow over on it's own. I know it probably doesn't seem like that now and it can feel like a lifetime when you're the subject of gossip. Your friend is lucky, she's got you looking out for her so keep it up and be there for her when she needs you. Think about it, there's always a new piece of gossip at school right? I bet it wasn't so long ago that everyone was talking about somebody else and it won't be long before they move onto something new again. Everyone goes through this at one time or another(I was gossip for a while after a sexual encounter with a boy who then told everyone) and your friend will get through this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): As harsh as this sounds, your friend has done something that she should be embarassed about and probably feels foolish. everybody knows at this stage.
However everybody does stupid things from time to time, she needs to learn her lesson, sex is about love, having sex in a car park is very rarely lovely and certainly not when its your schools car park.
One day this will be forgotten about, until then just be her friend, I wouldnt lie for her, I would just say to anyone that asks that she is your friend and you dont trash talk your friends,
be there for her through this she will need you,
I hope this helps.
Oh one other thing I forgot to mention its impossible trying to cover this because the guy involved is very unlikely to want to keep his mouth shut about it especially as he is now an ex.
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