A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I thank you for all your advice in advance and I'd greatly appreciate kind yet honest answers :D I'm single, have been for the past 8 months after a five year relationship so the dating scene is all so new to me. That bf was my first and I didn't date before that so this is REALLY new. As of right now, I'm not looking to get into a new relationship or anything like that...I'd rather have fun, go out on dates, and yes, even have casual sex. My question is: How do I engage in a fun (and safe, I know) sex life as a single young woman without being seen as easy or loose to those who know me as well as the guys I seek out? I'm normally shy and known as the "good girl" to my friends. I know I shouldn't care what other people think but it's hard for me not to. Plus I know how men can be when it comes to sleeping with women casually. They don't really respect you, most often emotionless and see you as just another piece of ass (or am I wrong?). Like I said, I'm looking to have the most fun as possible while I'm single because I know it'll be time for me to look at settling down again. Any tips?
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Be sure your expectations are realistic before getting involved in anything, and be discreet about it. Don't go into a one night stand or casual fling expecting more to come from it later, because it's not going to happen.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): I was in a 5 year relationship a couple years ago. Being single can be really fun, but remember that men are only after ONE thing! Sex! When you finally meet your soul mate do you really want to be asked " how many men have you slept with?" and have his face drop when you tell him something like 20 or 100? Men would like to marry a virgin ( in a perfect world ). We know that's not realistic, but a woman that respects her body enough to refrain from having FWB, casual sex or one night stands is a powerful sexy woman that demands the upmost respect. My advice to you is if you have to have some fun, date a man for 3 months before having sex with him. You will do what you want but if you want your future partner to respect your past then you might want to consider my advice?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 July 2010):
If you're out for just fun, and nothing else, the first thing you have to understand is that those men you sleep with won't really have that much respect for you as they will only be interested in sex and nothing more. If you can live with that, then go ahead. Don't look for good guys to have one night stands with, because there aren't that many good guys who do. You have to be willing to have sex with men who are going to be a bit selfish in bed, and not really care for you much afterwards (you may go to sleep with a man, then wake up and realize he's left). Again, if you can do that, then you'll be fine. Finally, just make sure you stay pretty silent about what you do. People don't need to know what you're up to. The women who are obvious about one night stands and sex are the ones who are unfortunately labelled. So don't tell friends, don't sleep with the same group of guys, and just have safe fun in different places. Also, be totally sober as well. Don't be drunk. You just need to do what clever men do and be silent. Remember, those men that are obvious about sex also get bad reputations as well. There are other, clever men who have casual sex and tell no one, and they're seen as 'good guys'. So be cool and quiet about it all. Be in control. Choose the man you want to and not the one alcohol makes you choose. And lastly accept that you are in this for sex, and love, care and affection.
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