A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend who I have been dating for four months and who I love has two young kids. The youngest is 8 month old. It is very hard for me to accept the baby for some reason. How do I handle being in this situation? And how do I know he is truly worth going through this? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angel1976  +, writes (8 August 2007):
Too cut a long story short, you and this man are well suited, his just finished with his ex,to be with you the baby is only 8months, stiil needs its dad around alot. (what kind of human beings are you)
What does a 30yr old man want with a young girl, i think the whole situation is wrong.
U have the cheek to say u can't accept his baby, well its tough luck darling, you make yur bed you lie in it, and thats what u get for dealing with a man that has kids and the fact the baby is still so young, its not fare on his children. His kids will always come before you. He has to deal with the mother/mothers for the next 18yrs...can u handle that.
There are going to be times when he has to do things with is ex regarding the children, where you wont be welcome, like christing, partys, 1st day at nursery do u get the picture, how you going to handle that.
You should let your so called boyfriend, sort things out with his ex, beacuse the baby is stil so young.
I hope who-ever you settle down with leaves you with a young baby to cope with on your own. What goes around comes around.
You really do have a cheek, you are showing your youngness by saying those sorts off things about his baby, don't you see his kids come as a package, you want him, you have to deal with the kids at some point. Those question you should't have to ask, because you know what you was getting into 4months ago. For u to jump in bed with a guy thats just finished with someone and left his young baby shows he has no responsibality for his action, do u want to settle down with a man like that. You are a rebound love, when real life kicks in for you and him, we will see if its really greener on the other side.
This is the same situation that im in, left with a 8month old baby aswell, my ex has another child off 6yrs old, and left us for a young girl 3-4months after we split. his been with his new girl 3-4months aswell.
You sound like his girlfriend Jade W from Hackney.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe oldest child is 5 and my boyfriend just turned 30...he is 11 years older then I am.
...............................
A
female
reader, Angel1976 +, writes (7 August 2007):
How old is the other child and your partner?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): You're really young. If you are feeling this way already about him, it's best to go your separate ways. Don't make him feel bad about the fact that he has kids. Children are innocent in all of these relationship problems. I am sure that you will want a baby some day. Don't you want to go through that with a man who has never gone through it before, that way you can share all the firsts together? It is a special bonding thing & he has already been through this with another woman. He probably will not want any more children either.
...............................
A
female
reader, x_goddess_x +, writes (7 August 2007):
 if you love your boyfriend you gotta accept the babies as they will always come first n so will you but the only thing is and dnt take me wrong but it like if you make him chose it should be the kids tht come first so my advice is just learn to get along with them there only kids
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): I can't imagine how you must feel. How long as it been since he seperated from the childs mother? I'm not sure I could cope with my man having a baby with someone else.
Its a big decision, but as the answer above, its his child and he has to be involved as a dad its the right thing to do.
You need to decide now wether you can deal with this, not only for your own sake, but for the babys sake. These situations can work, but only if you feel its worth it working, and only you can decide that. Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (7 August 2007):
 How would you feel about him if he could choose you over the baby? That wouldn't say anything good about him, would it?
This baby is his, and that he's planning on being in that baby's life for the long haul says a lot of really good things about him and his character.
If you can't accept the baby then I think you need to do him and his children a big favor and leave him.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 August 2007):
 What do you mean by you can't accept the baby? Is he raising the baby or does the baby live with the mother? Just remember the baby is a permanent fixture in your boyfriend's life. But more information would be helpful.
...............................
|
