A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi so I'm 16. Obviously I'm a teenager so I have'needs'... Well they're more desires than needs. My first desire is to find someone to love who will love me back. Someone I can trust and talk to who understands me. Will I find him soon? Who knows. My other desire after meeting that person is well to have sex. I'm a virgin and sometimes my hormones just drive me crazy and nothing I do alone will help (if you get me). The only thing stopping me from having sex is my need to lose my virginity to somebody who actually shows me that they love me. Not necessarily planning on waiting until marriage but it has to mean something. Long story short, last year and possibly the year before i was in a really bad place. I was moving in and out of a depression like state and when I was feeling okay I was online speaking to guys that I didn't even know. You know sexting and things. Stupid I know, but back then I liked guys looking at me and thinking wow. I did some pretty stupid and desperate things during this time that I cannot change. I was that desperate for a guy to be interested in me that I'd parade my business to near enough whoever wanted to see. I started to think that I might need professional help to get over that twisted addiction but I got over it at the end of 2015.My point is I let my desires take over my discretion sometimes and I don't know how to control it... How do I get over my needs for a boyfriend and sex? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 June 2016):
 Its an age thing. At 16, theres just so many hormones in whack, and too much developing too fast to even count. It cools down around 18. So hang in there! Just remind yourself that you WILL meet that person who shows you love, eventually. And right now it just feels like forever, but again, its just because there is so much happening at 16. Your brain is maturing too, dont forget. Try to remind yourself that the right time will eventually arise.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2016): Almost all teenage boys are VERY sexually frustrated people, fighting their urges every single hour of every day.
Controlling your urges is a normal part of life. Its part of being a mature adult.
...............................
A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (16 June 2016):
 I also only had my first girlfriend when I turned 19. Girls are nicer when they arn't teenagers anymore.
I do understand as my hormones also drove me up the wall when I was your age and I also wondered if any girl would have me.
The secret is to get out there and meet new people. There are far more men than you think that would bend over backwards (literally, if you ask) to be with you.
Dont worry, you will get there.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (15 June 2016):
 "The only thing stopping me from having sex is my need to lose my virginity to somebody who actually shows me that they love me. Not necessarily planning on waiting until marriage but it has to mean something" - please, *please* stick to this! This is so wise and all young people should stick to it. I know it can be frustrating, but you won't regret it!As for love, that will take time. Most teenage relationships are more drama, hormones and infatuation, than love. You often feel like you're missing out (I know I did), but I'm so glad I was found by my first boyfriend at 19. We were mature, had our own money to do things together, were experienced enough to look after each other when we went through health challenges and surgeries, could mentally and emotionally support each other through traumas we'd faced growing up, enough patience to have the necessary communication, etc. We have an adult relationship, the kind with real love and a bright future ahead, something most teenagers (no disrespect) can't quite handle. It usually causes arguments and jealousy, which definitely still occurs in adult relationships, but there's more to benefit from when you're a bit older.Make good friends, get a new hobby, find yourself and your interests, work towards your short-term and long-term goals, do voluntary work, etc. and enjoy your teen years with as little sex/relationship drama as possibly - it's worth it, believe me. The love/"love" you'd feel at 16/17 is nothing compared to the love you will feel at 19/20, which is completely different to the love you'll feel at 30/35, and so on :)
...............................
|
