A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Alright, i'll try to make this short and sweet. During my freshman year in high school i started dating this guy. The first time we dated we dated for 2 months then i broke it off with him because i just wasn't feeling it, but i knew there was something still there with him.Then, during that same year, me and him starting talking again and he asked me back out again. This time for 2 weeks, then i broke it off with him because i just wanted to be single. I still liked him, but i just didn't want to be tied down.Then, in the fall on my sophomore year he asked me out again, this time for about 3 weeks, then i broke it off with him again because we had a lot of issues that just weren't being resolved. During that time we were broken up i still liked him and he definitely still liked me, but here's where i get to my issue. During that time he hooked up with two girls, one of which he had sex with 3 weeks after we broke up. However, during this time i didn't hookup with anyone at all.So here's the main issue, we have now been dating for almost 4 months and everything is better than it ever has been, i'm so in love with him and i couldn't be happier, but i just need advice on how to get over this random booty call he had. He definitley doesn't like her anymore and only used her to kinda rebound from me, but still. The thing that makes me very angry is that he compares a hookup i had in the summer before my sophomore year compared to what he did. I didn't have sex with this hookup and it just makes me infuriated. We hadn't had sex before and he had sex with her before me, i just feel so angry about this and i do not know what to do.Help please...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 I would not push my luck if I were you. This guy is clearly very patient, he wanted you back for the fourth ( ! ) time after you broke up with him the first 3, he put up with your fickleness and "phases" (" Now I just want to be single ; no wait, I don't , I want a bf ") but there' s a limit to every patience and he may reach his if you insist with your attitude.
You were broken up, - and he had sex with someone else as he was fully entitled to do. What he did with whom when you were not together does not concern you.
And yes, your hook up and his sex act are the same thing, and quite comparable, not in the letter of the matter,maybe, but in the spirit. Same as you felt physically attracted to another guy, so he felt physically attracted to another girl. That you decided to express this attraction with less than intercourse, it's neither here nor there . That was your choice for yourself - your bf made a different choice for himself and owes you no apologies for that.
Therefore, if you care about keeping your bf, drop the subject and let the bygones be bygones, and both focus on having a good relationship from now on.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 Why would he compare him sleeping with a girl with you hooking up with someone? Were you giving him grief for it?
Honestly, you should be angry at yourself... you can't dump someone three times and then get angry at them for sleeping with someone whilst broken up. He's done nothing wrong.
He couldn't have you, so he had someone else. If he could take it back now I bet he would... but he can't. So just agree not to bring it up again provided he agrees not to bring up your hookup.
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