A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I get my parents to allow my boyfriend and I to have a sleepover?I've asked before and was told no, but that was a year ago.Is this a trust issue or what. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Nikkii Babyee  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 aww i have tried so many times to get my mum and dad to let my boyfriend stay over! you'll obviously do nothing together when theyre in the house but its not a trust issue over you its just over ur boyfriend because they know what goes on in a teenage boys head!
try suggesting that he maybe stays downstairs for the first time or else get him to sleep in his clothes just to be sure that yer mum and dad have no suspicions for the next time!
x0*
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses!
I liked your ideas tisha and thanks susan for being so straight forward/honest..
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 April 2008):
 Well, it might be a trust issue or it might be that your parents want to know that you're safe and happy and well.
The good news about being a "grown up" is that you get to decide for yourself who you get to sleep with and when. I'm going to be a really boring old stodgy auntie here, sorry for that in advance, but if you keep your grades up, and focus on your school work, and save up your money, you can go off to a good university and have all the sleepovers you want then!!!
It's only for a year or two from now for you, so don't worry too much about that, I'm sure you're mature and smart enough to figure that out!
If you already have your future job goals in mind and uni isn't on the agenda, then you can have a nice sleepover to look forward to when you've moved into your own place.
It was so nice to be able to set my own schedule at school!! I could stay up as late as I wanted to with no one to tell me what to do...
Anyway, I hope this helped just a little bit, sorry I don't have the magic password!
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (25 April 2008):
 You don't. If they don't want it then however much you push it, it's not going to work. It probably isn't that they don't trust you; they simply think it is "inappropriate".
Yes there are a million and one reasons why it really wouldn't be a problem, and you will almost certainly be wasting your time telling your parents any of them. There are hundreds of reasons in their minds why it would be a problem, far more compelling than anything you are going to say even if none of what they think makes much sense to you. Reasons like: "what would the neighbours think if our daughter's boyfriend stays the night" and "suppose she gets pregnant at her age in our house - it would be all our fault for allowing him to stay". You can see where they are coming from on this one, even though you know in your own mind they are absolutely wrong.
What can you do? Not a lot. And fighting against it is just destructive. Invite him round for the evening, kiss him goodnight on the doorstep and send him home when it's time for bed. One day there will be the opportunity to spend the night with him, and one day you will have your own space where you make the rules - and one day you will quite likely have a daughter of your own and refuse point blank to allow her boyfriend to stay the night.
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A
female
reader, Roshni +, writes (25 April 2008):
Hi the best way to go about it would be to get your boyfriend home for lunch one day, introduce him to your parents. I guess your parents need time to see whther their daughter is safe with him or not..or whthr he deserves you or not. Probably once they have met him, give them some time to think over it. Hope things work out for you.
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