A
female
age
18-21,
*hristian
writes:I just had a baby a month ago and my husband worKs alot and when he is home i wont him to care for the baby to bond with him and also so i can have a brake to get things done that i cant do while i am holding a baby. well the baby does not realy know him and he also is very attached to me cause im breast feeding. so the baby cries when im not around him and my husband say he is hungry and gives him to me. so what im asking is how do i get my husband to hold the baby just for an hour? how do i get him to bond? how do i get my baby to like him? Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): I completely disagree with the female anonymous poster. Babies NEED that physical contact, being held, etc. to help them develop. They're at a very key developmental stage and the more interaction with them you have the better it is for them psychologically. Also, it's your child, why would you NOT want it to always want you to hold it or be near it. I think ignoring your child and not interacting with it because you're afraid that later on you'll not have the "breathing space" you want is a very immature and irresponsible view on things. (And I'm glad it doesn't sound as though you have this viewpoint.)
Also, as far as I know, there's no limit to how many questions you can ask, and I know that I certainly don't care how many you ask. It's a help site, and we can't help if you don't ask questions. :)
Ginalolabridga has excellent ideas, as usual, and I think that you should follow her suggestions. I don't have much more to add unfortunately, except that your husband should want to be around the baby too. I agree, it may be because it's the first baby he's been around and doesn't quite know how to act with it. That's where you can come in and tell him that it's okay to hold it, especially when it's crying and WANTS to be held. Also, if you're working in the kitchen, etc. and the baby is with you, your husband could just be in the same room helping out, helping you make dinner or something so he's around the child too and even if he's not the one holding it, it might help.
I hope this helped some, I'm sorry if it didn't.
A
female
reader, Christian +, writes (27 October 2009):
Christian is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh sorry i did not know there was a limit to how many questions i can ask my bad. and i have been told my many doc that u cant spoil a baby. they told me young babys need lots of love. i dont hold him all the time i just have to be close to him or were he can see me or he cries.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (27 October 2009):
 You can pump your milk and put it into bottles so he can take a turn with the feeding too, that is a good way for him and baby to feel that bond the eye to eye contact is very good for that.
I used to do what Old Guy's wife done and would hand the baby to him and say it is your turn, i am going for a bath, or i might have been making dinner whatever the reason it should not be a big deal it is his baby too, your tired too you know even though he is saying he is tired after being out working all day you probably are just as tired as him, so fairs fair he needs to be left holding the baby here and there, he will never feel the bond if he keeps giving him to you, he needs to learn to soothe the baby, cause it wont be hunger all the time, babies like to be rocked in your arm, they like you walking up and down the floor with them, even giving him a bath, all these things will help him.
I know it is daunting a first baby some of us do feel nervous around them but it is a wee helpless baby it needs all the love and attention you can give it, he will get used to it and you might find after a while you cant get it off him!
Good Luck.
Gina
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): This is the third question in one day.
Don't display breasts in public. Cover them and the baby when you feed the baby.
See a doctor for the tailbone.
A baby should not be in someone lap or held all the time. It'll spoil him and he'll always want to be held. And no adult in the house will have breathing space.
Allow the child to lie around, perhaps around the husband so he's natually curious and worried about holding him.
If anything your posts are an education to teens who wants go around having babies.
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A
female
reader, Christian +, writes (27 October 2009):
Christian is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think its cause its the first baby he has been around and he cries alot
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): My wife used to say something like, "here, it's your turn," and just give me the baby and walk away. Don't ask him, tell him. Good gracious, it's his child too -- he ought to *want* to be involved.
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