A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Bit of a strange question. I am a divorced woman and have been single for about 12 months. I have a healthy sex drive and masturbate regularly. I have not had sex with a man since splitting up from my husband and is really missing it. Masturbation is not the same as being with real person. I have an open mind about sex and would be quite happy having some sort of safe sex buddy. Problem is how do you find a sex buddy without having to approach some dodgy/potentially dangerous character on-line from a sex site? I am not cheap in any way and that thought horrifies me. What do other woman in similar circumstances do to have some healthy sex (as most adults should be able to do without feeling bad about it)? Pardon if my post offends anyone?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 November 2009):
 I agree with Caring Guy. Many a man will mistake your need for an offer for sex with no strings, and that is not exactly what you want. For example, from your post I surmise that you want a stable partner. Someone could think that you would be happy if "it" happened two or three times.
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (12 November 2009):
 Well, I would not entirely rule out the Internet, but I'm age 62 and in America. More specifically, in Texas, I have scored with several quality ladies, some of whom were seeking the same kind of arrangement you mention. Or perhaps it was they making the score. LOL Very rarely do I initiate an email on the romance sites, but I almost always respond to their flirtations.
Social functions are possibly a great environ for hooking up. You may have to be discreetly more flirtatious than you might normally be, and in my opinion, seek out the unattached rather than married men. Befriend other attendees, both men and women, and ask around. Casually inquire about available friends or acquaintances they may know. Dazed-Confused offered good advice here.
And in America, perhaps the Isles as well, even grocery stores may be fertile grounds for striking up a relationship. I've been hit upon several times, but I know that some were too subtle for me to recognize in time to properly react. They might have had me if the come-on had been a bit more direct. One attractive woman hit on me at the banana rack in Walmart one day, an appropriate locale, but I was too dim witted to realize iwhat had happened that day. Sixty seconds later, I came to my senses, but she was long gone. A missed opportunity. Don't be so shy about it.
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A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (11 November 2009):
 I understand what you mean about not wanting to get involved with someone online. It's like gambling...not sure whether you'll get lucky or end up paying big time. Same thing with meeting someone at the bar... My only suggestion would be to maybe approach an acquaintance. Maybe there is someone that you know casually for whom you have an attraction? Maybe just flirt a little, see where it goes. You can tell them straight off what you are looking for and just let it go from there. It may be hard though, b/c there still tends to be a double standard with women when it comes to this kind of stuff. You could also ask your friends if they know someone who is not looking for anything serious. Finally, I find that on a lot of the dating sites, many guys who have a profile in the Dating section are looking for something pretty casual, or they will put their profile up in the Relationship section. So, you can get to know them online, cause that is what you are looking for right, very casual dating, and then meet them. No one says you have to jump into bed straight away unless you want to, so you can take the time to judge them and how you feel around them.
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A
female
reader, fairytail +, writes (11 November 2009):
 Yes very good advice thier are allot of players out there.. I would not go on any sites like adult friend finder or anyother site like it allot of predators out there looking to take advantage of you.... good luck :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 November 2009):
Relax, it doesn't offend anyone. All I can say from a male point of view is be careful. I'm not really sure how you would meet them (maybe other women could tell you), but I can tell you that you're liable to end up hurt at some point. There are a lot of nasty guys out there who will use you and hurt you, and you don't want to get caught by them. My advice would be to try and find a guy you do connect with and who is decent rather than just look for sex.
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