A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm wanting to start dating in the future and eventually attract a soulmate to share a life with. However,I have herpes (HSV-2); how do I keep myself emotionally safe? This will mean opening emotionally.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2018): Don't stress , plenty of people have the virus either in the oral form ( cold sores ) or genital . Either type is interchangeable and can technically affect the other region even if it's been dormant for years
People tend to freak out about genital herpes but no one thinks twice if they are a carrier of cold sores and most don't stop to think that they can infect their partners genitals during oral sex even if they havnt had a cold sore for years . It's just the huge stigma attached to when hsv1 or hsv 2 affects the genitals . Pure ignorance . I've had the virus for around twenty years and have delivered several healthy children naturally and have had no problem having a healthy relationship . I havnt had a flare up for probably ten years now . Think of it as a screen for men who just want to use you for sex . If they are serious about you they will read up and realise it's nothing more than a skin irritation
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 August 2018):
 You don't need to tell someone straight away. You can get to know them and be more comfortable before it turns sexual and you need to have that conversation. Please remember that this is something a lot of people live with and never have issues with it. Join a support group and talk to others who have went through the same journey.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2018): You have to live your life normally and do not obsess about your illness and let it dominate your thoughts all the time but in my opinion you should be upfront with any future date and warn them about your illness to avoid any future conflict. Search for herpes support groups on the social media.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2018): This is not something you mention on a first date.Herpes is a virus that can become symptomatic when you get run down.It is not a life sentence.You need to eat well and look after yourself so that you do not become run down.When you do not have an attack of herpes you do not have to mention it to anyone but you should always use a condom .Its quite possible that the person you meet may also have had herpes at some time in their lives or shingles or mumps or anything that lingers in your genetic predisposition.I know you got herpes from sex.If everyone who ever had sex had a bell on their nose we would be a very jingling merry crowd indeed.So dont stress about this unduly.You will be looking for someone who sees this virus as a thing in the past, not as a label you carry with you for every day of your life.
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