A
female
age
30-35,
*orn614
writes:Hi everyone. My girlfriend arrived three days ago, and she is irritating the hell out of me. I'm highly allergic to cigarette smoke, and she insists on smoking on my apartment. Everything in here smells like smoke, and I'm now having a hard time breathing as a result. I was already battling the smoke coming from my neighbor's apartment, and now, I have to deal with it at all hours of the day and night. I'm trying to be hospitable, but this isn't working because it is like so annoying and disrespectful. How do I handle this without being rude? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 April 2010):
 What did she say when you told her you are allergic to smoke and dislike the smell intensely?
A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 This is a difficult situation, has your girlfriend arrived to visit or to move in with you?
if she is just visiting, then it is easier for you to put your foot down, as it is your home. however if she has moved in it makes it slightly more difficult.
either way, i think your best bet would be to talk to her calmly but honestly, and tell her that whilst you understand that she smokes, the smoke is making you ill.
hopefully you will be able to reach a compromise whereby she smokes outside, or by an open window.
the smell of smoke on her is unfortunately unavoidable when you date a smoker, so if this is a really big issue to you, you may need to reconsider whether you should be dating a smoker.
All the best x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 April 2010):
If you don't want her smoking, then tell her straight that because you're allergic to the smoke, she cannot smoke in your apartment. You just have to be honest and tell her you're allergic to it.
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