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I'm 19 and still a virgin. Is this normal?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2010) 10 Answers - (Newest, 23 February 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 22-25, *DJ101 writes:

Im a male, 19, never had a girlfriend and still and virgin. And now im depressed (well probably not really depressed, i just feel really low) and worried sick about it virtually all the time. I dont really know what it is thats making me worry, i just keep thinking one morning i'll wake up and find that im like 40 years old and still in the same situation. Im terrified it wont happen to me, or if it does i'll mess it up because of my lack of experience.

I cant bear the thought that ive reahced the age of 19 with zero experience. Everyone around me has done it, and ARE doing it seemingly all the time. Even my sister, who is two years younger than me has a boyfriend. She laughs at me for this, and treats me like im some kind of idiot, or a child with no understanding of anything.

I feel like such a loser. How could i have got to this stage in life and have not done it? Its not like im bad looking or socially awkward or something. People say to me all the time that im handsome with a good sense of humour and that it will happen to me soon. But will it? I cant help but feel if a did find a girl she would run a mile when she finds out that im a virgin. I mean ive had a couple of chances at it but ive not really gone for them. The girls in both those cases were great nd im sure i would have been really happy with them but i did nothing, and now im in the "just good friends" category with them. Maybe i have self confidence issues? I wasn't confident enough to ask them out or something? i dont know.Im sorry to type loads but i really need to get it out. I know its stupid and selfish to think this way but i cant help it. Anyway, just some opinions and advice would be great.

View related questions: confidence, depressed, has a boyfriend, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin

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A female reader, 101confusedgirl United States +, writes (23 February 2011):

I know exactly how you feel. I'm 19 going on 20 and i'm still a virgin...the older you get it can be tuff to except the fact that sex may not be a big part of are lives. :(

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010):

Im not going to lie to you and tell you that it does not matter. However, if you want to get laid, you got to be more aggressive and take more risks in finding, meeting, and talking to women. And if your sister is giving you grief about your virginity, then it speaks volumes about her so-called maturity (she is not as mature as she likes to think).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010):

Hey im 19 and im still a virgin aswell, and i never really had a boyfriend eather. Dont put your self down because your still a virgin to me IM REALLY GLAD THAT YOU STILL ARE you not alone.

Maybe the reason your still a virgin is because your waiting for the right person to give the one thing that is important to you. I know im waiting for the right guy to come along, and trust me when she finds out your a virgin she well not run a mile away she is gunna be happy and thankful that you want to lose the one thing you held on to for a really long time to her.

To me i think sex is suppose to be special.

DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT OKAY ..trust me one day your gunna lose it to that one person you love and your going to feel good about your self that you lost it to the girl you loved not a random chick you meet at the bar or something.

good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010):

Its ok to be 19 and still a virgin because I am 19 and still a virgin yeah it gets hard sometimes because your friends talk about there sex experinces. But if you really think about you don't have to worry about caughting stds I'm glad I'm still a virgin and I know that when I do it will be with the right person.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010):

It's perfectly normal to be 19 and never have had girlfriend or sex. Relax! You have long life ahead of you. Sooner or later you'll meet someone you'll like. So stay cool and enjoy life. You don't need to worry about these things at all.

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A male reader, J.T.1988 United States +, writes (21 April 2010):

J.T.1988 agony auntHell man you sound like me only I'm 22. I know how much its sucks but hey that's life.To answer your question no we're not normal but what fun would that be :D. Anyway if you want to talk just shoot me a message.

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A male reader, Flyguymyeye United Kingdom +, writes (21 April 2010):

You're normal. Ask a few girls out, spend time with them and it will happen. Stop focussing on sex as a win and try and have a relationship.

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A male reader, ManAfterChrist United States +, writes (21 April 2010):

ManAfterChrist agony auntI'm a 19 year old virgin guy as well :)

Though mine is by choice (saving myself), I still have insecurities every once in awhile, much the same as yours. I know I'm handsome, I know I have charm, but I don't pursue a woman until I'm totally positive I want her and it will be good for my relationship with Christ, and that happens pretty rarely.

There are a lot of girls that are looking for a guy just like you. They want a nice guy not all wrapped up in previous sex scandals. And I know I am proud of the fact that I've never had sex. Honestly, everybody is right in saying it will happen sometime. Just live your life and don't worry about it, we are both still very young.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):

Being a virgin at 19 is not a bad thing at all. You are pure and sharing yourself should be with someone your love or care deeply for. Everyday I wish I would have waited until I found that perfect person to give myself to. It is all more meaningful to share yourself with someone you love. If you have not found it yet, then be glad that you are a virgin.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):

Yes, its normal i know someone that was 22, dont worry about it, do it when you feel ready and not before i made that mistake i was 14 and regret it because it wasnt with the person i loved.

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