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How do I convince my much younger wife to allow another man to join us in the bedroom?

Tagged as: Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 February 2018) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 February 2018)
A male United States age , *endertim writes:

Hi. I am looking for advice {mostly from women}on how to convince my wife (almost 20 years younger than me)to allow another younger man to join us in bed so I can watch him pleasure her. Without going into a boring explanation let me just say I'm not the man I use to be and even though she says she's ok with the way things are I'm not!

I know from past experience that although I'm cool with her having sex with someone else I'm not cool with her doing it behind my back! It's the dishonesty that I can't abide not the sex that's why I want to convince her to let another guy join us now so it's totally up front and we both can enjoy the experience.

I already have someone who wants to fuck her really bad that I know she's attracted too. She has seen him fuck a friend of hers and was so turned on she had to change her panties after she watched the video because she got so wet!

So, I need some help ASAP.....please!!

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A female reader, Flower89  +, writes (12 February 2018):

Flower89 agony auntI find this really hard to believe.

I'm 20 years younger than my partner and he likes me to try different things with him but he has said over and over, "he will never share me."

and I don't want him to, I'm his!

I honestly don't know a man who would either.

Do you honestly want to see another man touch downs your wife, hold her, kiss her make love too her? If so ask her but I can't see this going well for you at all. Sorry but I can't.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (11 February 2018):

N91 agony auntI think this is possibly a troll.

If not, then it's quite simple, you ask her and she says yes or no. If she says yes, then fantastic, you've possibly started the wheels turning on the down fall of your marriage. What happens if she falls in love with the person that YOU arranged to screw her, right in front of your eyes? Would it be such a clever idea still? If she says no then you move on with your lives as they are.

You say you want your wife to be pleasured so why exactly are you completely disregarding that she is telling you that things are fine? Get over YOUR insecurities and don't project them onto other people by trying to make your wife do something that she doesn't want to. Just because someone finds another person attractive DOES NOT mean they want to hop into bed with them, especially if they're in a comitted relationship.

If you're not happy about things, see a therapist to deal with it. Stop trying to make your wife sleep with another man hoping that will fix your insecurities.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2018):

If she tells you upfront that she’s going to have sex with another man, then that’s not being dishonest, is it? Therefore, what this really is is a cuckold fantasy. I mean what would you be doing while she’s being “pleasured” by another man in front of you? Will you be lying there with a flaccid penis, whining that you can’t enjoy yourself sexually? No! Of course not! You will be busily pleasuring yourself or possibly her or possibly him while they’re engaged. So, this is more about your worshiping of your penis. This is your attempt to coerce your wife into Basically a threesome, that she doesn’t seem interested in.

Post like this are penis-centric. This isn’t about pleasuring your wife because if it were, unless your fingers your toes your lips and your tongue have all fallen off, you can pleasure your wife.

So what this post is is an attempt to play on the cuckold fantasy that you have going on. I think part of cuckold fantasy is a bit of wife coercion, possibly humiliation, what you preset up by saying that you are essentially impotent. I think the best thing you can do is sit down with your wife and have a talk about what pleases her, and what pleases you. “Convincing her“ or what really sounds like coercion, isn’t really in your best interest. If you want a happy wife, remember that she knew she was marrying a much older man when she married you. She knew what was going to happen eventually. She was OK with a less than steel rod for a penis. Men just sometimes don’t understand that for the woman it’s not all about the penis. It’s a much broader sexuality and I would encourage you to explore your wife’s sexuality using your other body parts (as previously listed) and stop trying to coerce her into something that she really doesn’t want to do.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (10 February 2018):

Tisha-1 agony auntWhat did she say when you asked her? You have talked about it, haven’t you? If not, why not?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 February 2018):

Honeypie agony auntYou don't.

Getting "wet" from watching a sex tape or porn is a NORMAL bodily reaction, same as a hard on. Doesn't mean SHE wants to have sex with the guy in the tape. A woman (or man) does NOT have full control over WHEN they get aroused and when they don't. So it's basically partially an involuntary bodily response to STIMULUS. In this case visual and probably audio.

If she doesn't WANT to have sex with whomever YOU have picked out (or anyone else) in front of you, she has the RIGHT to decline. If she cheats, you have the right to divorce her. It's pretty simple.

You want her to do this, NOT for her pleasure but for YOURS. SHE is not your blow up doll, sir.

You think that by introducing a younger man to the bed she will stay with you.

But what happens if she falls for one of these men? Want to BE with one of these men full time?

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (10 February 2018):

Aunty BimBim agony auntWhy on earth would you ask women for advise on how to convince another woman to do something that, if she wanted to do it she wouldn't need convincing.

Watching a video and getting turned on is a completely different experience to having some other man fuck, as you so delicately put it, you while your husband watches.

Let me reiterate, if your wife needs to be convinced it means she isn't interested so maybe you should just stick to watching videos and not try and coerce her into something that she doesn't want.

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