A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am currently trying to mend a relationship that ended because she freaks out at any sign of commitment. We still talk everyday and hang out, she said she doesn't want anything but then says she wants to try and that she really likes me. every time i ask her something relationship wise she tells me to chill out and don't worry. how do i convince her that i'm worth it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 You can't convince her you're worth it. She has to determine that herself. By definition, being "worth it" means being "worth it" for her.
On the other hand, let me give you a piece of advice, the kind that is learned the very hard way (like you're doing now): You are who you are, and some people will like you while others will not. Don't try to push it. It's not worth it for you. You don't have to work extra hard to give someone "other reasons" to stay with you. You know, she would be staying because of the "other reasons", and the only reason that will be worth for you is if she stays for you, warts and all.
If you work extra hard to get a woman's attention, she will immediately see that she can play you. And many will.
Think of this as business: submit your quote, and, if it doesn't get accepted, move on. End of story.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 At 16 , you haven't had the time yet to learn that you can't always get what you want :)
And sometimes it's good, what you want is not what you need.
Maybe you think love is all about drama and conflict and climbing mountains and killing dragons to win the girl. You prove herself worthy and eventually she understands you are her knight in shining armour.
Personally, I was never convinced about that. Love is simple, it's easy , it's natural. Boy likes girl - girl likes boy- they feel joy in being together, and the more they are together the more you feel it. That's all.
There is nothing to prove, nothing to win or to demonstrate, nobody to convince.
You don't have to shove yourself down her throat because "you'd be good for her " - like a spoonful of veggies down the throat of a reluctant toddler.
You are not satisfied with our answers because you feel there MUST be some magic trick or silver bullet to convince her...
I don't think there is and if there was you should not use it. If you need to convince her she is not the right girl for you.
Find someone else that wants to offer you her love, freely and generously , without making you jusmp hurdles for it.
ANYWAY : IF- I say IF- there is something that may take her by surprise, and take her a bit aback, and maybe- maybe- making her miss you and reconsider... that would be the opposite of what you are doing now. Stop insisting, stop pestering , stop fishing for a relationship. In fact, keep your distance, and even better, go no contact. That would probably catch her attention and give her a shake ( IF there is anything to shake ) more than your dogged devotion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni don't care about marriage and the future, this is a problem im having now. telling me get rid of her is pointless because i want her. i need some sort of guidance
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A
female
reader, Doe Eyed Beauty  +, writes (19 October 2011):
Dear' How do I convince her that I'm worth it?': Why get so worked up? You are so young and have plenty of time for serious relationships. What about college? Hobbies? Your family? Focus on something else. You will have plenty of time for relationships as you seek to find a wife when you are older. Finish growing up. D.E.B.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Didn't you ask this yesterday?
There's nothing you can do, if she liked you enough, she'd be dating you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 October 2011):
 You don't. There is no question of your worthiness.... The only "question" is whether or not she intends to have some sort of relationship... with ANYONE.
She's really sent you lots of signals.... such as talking and hanging out with you... AND, telling you to chill as regards talk of any relationship....
IF you persist in seeking - and pursuing - some sort of committed "relationship".... I'm sure you find that you can get her to finally get sufficiently pissed off at you such that she tells you to take a flying leap...
Be patient. You've got 95% of what you want!!!!!!
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