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How do I choose between my longtime boyfriend & the other guy?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid, I'm 26 and have been with my partner for 8 years but a few years ago i got involved with someone i work with. He is really gorgeous and we kept getting together at nights out and eventually slept togther a few times. This didn't last long as he wanted me to chose either him or my boyfriend and i chose my boyfriend. Ever since i have always wondered if i made the right choice and the guy in work is now in a relationship and is due to get married.

A few months ago we had another works night out and i was really drunk and ended up snogging him again, it has just happened again recently and his has told me he has always loved me and that if it comes to it he will call off the wedding so he can be with me. I'm now really confused as my partner and I are meant to be trying for a baby and this will break his heart if I leave him but I do have strong feelings for the guy i work with and dont know what to do.

My current partner is great and i do love him to bits but when he's drunk I cant stand him and we do seem to argue a lot over money as he spends it like water. My work colleague is better off and can offer everthing i've ever wanted in life and is a total romantic but he is 10 years older and i worry if i went with him the age difference could be a problem.

Please help!

View related questions: drunk, I work with, money, trying for a baby, wedding

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2005):

First of all, what you're doing is totally irresponsible and wrong. Just on the surface, you're not ready for a relationship with anybody, let alone have children. What kind of parent would you be if you can't manage to keep yourself out of another man's bed? What type of man is he if he's engaged and still sleeping with you? How can you risk bringing home diseases to your boyfriend who you "love" so much. If you loved him that much you would have worked o your problems before jumoing into bed with someone else. by the way, alcohol in no excuse. You knew before you got drunk who you were with and what your feelings were as well as your history.

You seem quite selfish. You talk about love but then you mention, money, age difference etc. I think you're just feeling scared that the man who you've been using to keep youself feeling "attractive" is marrying someone else. Now you'll be left with your boyfriend.

If you love someone, you don't do the things you're doing. You need to be honest with yourself first before you can be honest with anybody else. Your boyfriend at least deserves that much respect.

Do the right thing.

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