A
female
age
26-29,
*uliet94
writes:I dated a guy for 2 weeks.And I find him very weird and complicated.Sometimes I even suspect of him having any mental illness.I came from north Indian family.My family is looking groom for me.They arranged this guy to date and see how far things go.During first meeting he said he had an ex whom he was with for 7 years.it ended recently because he said he was not in love with her and they usually fight.His ex did not want to end their relationship as it is too long and she feels cheated.asked him if there was any other past relationship and he said no.i said it's ok as long as you had moved on and wants to see a future with me.He said she is refusing to get marry as she is unable to move on.And he is feeling very guilty about this.It was obvious that he had not move on too.so I did not tell yes to him but was talking to him.After 3 days he said he was talking with another girl during his college time and it was somehow Turing into love when he was still in the relationship.he stopped talking with her.He was giving fake hopes to me as well.and said he is feeling confused.He said he likes me but feeling guilty.After 2 weeks he said he actually talk to me so that he can forget his ex.I got very angry and rejected him already and informed my parents.Then we both stopped talking already..after 4 months I met him near a shop co incidently.He said he is getting married to another girl whom his family choose.I asked him then how about his ex.He said he is still in contact and thinking whether to patch back with her..I just feel this guy has no ethics and playing around.I felt like being cheated also.This is my 2nd time.I am very naïve and feels like not trusting any guys..I cannot bear the pain of getting cheated..I am too good for anyone.That is what all says.i feel like changing myself not to repeat this again but do not know how.And I never regret of loosing him...how can overcome this.thanks...
View related questions:
his ex, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 August 2018):
 You dated him for two weeks and you found him weird and complicated so that should tell you that it was not going to work out. If you do not click with someone then he is not the man for you. I think asking a man after two weeks does he see a future with you is a bit to soon. You need to take your time and get to know a person. He was honest with you and told you he did not love his ex any more, but he felt guilty because I am sure he still cares about her. You cannot expect him to forget all that in two weeks off chatting to you. He was not giving you fake hopes from what I see he told you he was confused and he was honest with you. I feel you expect to much to quick and you need to slow that down if you are going to look for love. You done right stopping contact when he told you he was trying to forget his ex. He needs time to think about what he wants and he is adding a lot of complications for you, so you done right. His family has choosen a bride for him but he still feels guilty about hurting his ex. He sounds very confused and you are better off out of it. He did not cheat on you, you only knew him for two weeks. You need to stop being so sensitive when it comes to meeting someone. Life can be complicated for everyone but you sound way to sensitive and niave at the moment to be dating. You cannot blame every guy for this guy not knowing what he wants. Not all men are the same and you need to give them a chance and get to know them before jumping in to a relationship. That is the only way it will work. Nobody likes to be cheated on but sweetie he did not cheat on you, you are being quite dramatic and living in a fairytale. You might never meet a man for you if you feel you are too good for everyone. You need to be modest and realize that you are only a person like everyone else. Nothing makes you better than other people. You need to slow things down and focus on getting to know someone. Two weeks is not enough time to get to know a man, you need to take longer and don't be so full on when you meet someone. You are not a love sick teenager anymore you are an adult it is time to start acting like one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2018): [EDIT]:
Correction:
" Destiny could be delaying your search; because there are other things you must pursue or fulfill at this time."
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2018): My dear, there is no way possible to avoid disappointment or frustration; because this comes with life.
You didn't know that young man long enough to feel such bitterness and cynicism. You are overreacting and being a bit dramatic. One guy does not represent all males. You have to be mature and reasonable. Finding a mate is a process of selection and elimination. Few ever get it right on the first try.
You are quite young. You have to meet a few men, get used to interacting with people; and practice using your better judgment and discernment to decide whether he is right for you. Just because your parents chose him, doesn't mean they got it right. It's a matter of chance. The odds are 50/50!
They apparently rushed into it without even determining what was going on in his life. I'm sorry, but that's simply the risk taken when you just pick without doing a background check, and determining whom you're dealing with. Just because he was single and chosen for you; won't make him instantly fall in-love with you. If only that could happen; then arranged-marriages would be the norm, or more popular around the world. Don't give-up on making your own choice.
Sort-out your feelings. Get a grip! Shake him off! He's but one tear-drop in an ocean of men! You have more choices yet to come. I do recommend that you try and control the dramatics, and stay level-headed. It will take time, and maybe a few more rejects; but with patience and perseverance you will find him. Destiny could be delaying your search; because their are other things you must pursue or fulfill at this time.
Impatience is typical of youth; always expecting instant-gratification. Control your over-developed sense of entitlement. Life owes you nothing! What have you done for the world? Stomping your foot like a spoiled-child over disappointment is unbecoming! He wasn't worth your time!
To be honest, he seems to be a total flake. More undecided than a pubescent teenage-girl. He would have made an awful husband. The angels protected you! He was more soap opera queen than man. This problem and that problem, woe is me!
These incidents should be counted as learning-experiences. You should keep your head about you, and your feelings in-check. Falling apart makes no sense. Be dignified, proud, and picky! Don't settle for the first man who breathes in your direction. Delay is sometimes divine and beneficial; to allow things to fall into place that lead to your happiness and success.
...............................
|
