A
female
age
30-35,
*Charliix
writes:HeyYou may remember me from this... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fallen-for-my-math-teacher.htmlif not then read that and your will get up-to-speed.Anyway.. this post is just an additional cry for help really.. I really cannot cope with these feelings anymore and I really don't know what to do!!I don't understand them... I don't get why i like him so much! there are so many boys/guys or whatever I could fancy-- but i have to fancy him!! WHY!!??!?!?!?!??!?I can't get them out of my head.. at school. at home.. everywhere.. and even when i sleep i cant stop thinking about him! Some days it not so bad and i dont think about him.. but other days its literally unbearable-like today... I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!When you reply- like i said with my other post- DO NOT tell me it will never happen- because I KNOW....This post is for people who are/have been in this situation .. please tell me how you got/ or are getting over it!! How do you cope with it!!!I've stopped being interested in any other guy apart from him!!.. Theres this guy, who likes me, really likes me and he's told me, and loads of other people.. and he's nice and sweet and obviously cares about me,, but i can't see my self dating him because i just can't stop thinkin bout my teacher!!!!It's literally taking over my life!!!!!!..HELP.. this is literally a cry for help!!. :ONo silly answers please.. serious methods and advice ..ThanksHELP :S
View related questions:
my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ilovejdubb  +, writes (8 March 2009):
yeah this is happening to me right now and it's my math teacher too!!!!!!I don't understand and I KNOW my chances are 0!!!even though my bff tells me he most likley likes me but it's obious he probably has a gf he's by married and he's probably by single......and I'm stupidley but utterly in love w/ him but I'm trying to forget about him and even though he may still have my heart and I don't have hi I kno dat it's impossible to forget some one lyk him and as much as u try it won't happen fully you might fall in live again but someway your still going to have him in he heart....so let tim pass someof the feeling will go away and maybe just maybe you might have a chance:)
A
female
reader, ilovejdubb +, writes (8 March 2009):
yeah this is happening to me right now and it's my math teacher too!!!!!!I don't understand and I KNOW my chances are 0!!!even though my bff tells me he most likley likes me but it's obious he probably has a gf he's by married and he's probably by single......and I'm stupidley but utterly in love w/ him but I'm trying to forget about him and even though he may still have my heart and I don't have hi I kno dat it's impossible to forget some one lyk him and as much as u try it won't happen fully you might fall in live again but someway your still going to have him in he heart....so let tim pass someof the feeling will go away and maybe just maybe you might have a chance:)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): I've been in your shoes more than I would like to have been. In fact, it's happening to me right now!I like my 8th grade history teacher. I'm fourteen, and he's in his 30s! It's horrible, but it is what it is. It makes it worse that he's my homeroom teacher as well. PLUS, he's married with three kids. ):It's hard concentrating in class, especially when he's a tease! We use to get along so well, but I think he's noticed my feelings for him - or at least is suspicous of them. He's definitely been moody recently. All these other girls chase after him for attention as well. I mean, he's cute, doesn't look his age, is funny, and caring. What is there not to like?After my friend and I confronted him about the girls on his soccer team flirting with him, it seemed like he told them off. There was this one moment in the hallway where I saw this particularly annoying girl talking to him, and he saw me. After that I didn't really see her or any others around. It's weird, but maybe it's coincidence.What could a grown man see in an immature, teenage girl? Much less a student? I couldn't tell you myself.It's hard, I know. It's hard not to think about him, but thinking about him isn't wrong! We ALL know that it can never happen, well, most likely won't happen. Try an extracurricular activity or something. (I can't, my teacher is the girls' soccer coach too.) Things will pass, it's difficult now and seems like it will never end. Keep faith though! Life moves on, despite your feelings for a certain person.And what about that guy you mentioned? Maybe give him a chance, it could take your mind of your teacher!
...............................
A
female
reader, Tevote  +, writes (23 February 2009):
 Ok well we really can't help you all too much, because everyone deals with these situations differently and it's what you think is best that actually works.MY advice because i've been through this as well is-Just go through with these feelings, leave them there, let them happen...Although they may get frustrating, over time they will leave or just not effect you as much. I'm not sure what else to tell you,but good luck-Definetely listen to the others advice on here because it's all very good advice for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): ok i have been in your shoes waaay too many times and the way i got over it is by basically finding all the bad qualities in these teachers and focusing on them. also i found that when i had crushes i would purposely try to see them in between lessons. if you do this, stop. another thing i tried when i had a HUGE crush on this teacher was i tried to find a boy nearer my age who reminded me of him or had things in common. now im going out with that guy. =D anyhoo hope this helped and good luck, these things take time but you'll get there. xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (22 February 2009):
 Hun, I am in her shoes, except it was my college professor (I've since graduated).
I always thought he was cute even when he was my teacher but never remotely thought about acting on it cause things would've just become weird and I didn't want him to get into trouble. But he even flirted with me when I was his student: calling me names and teasing me in front of the class until I knew that I was blushing, always smiling at me and he always seemed happy when I was around, quickly patting me on the back going past me during class.
Last summer his flirting escalated when he asked if I could help him with something in his classroom. We would meet for a couple hours a day or two a week. I'd come in, he'd say he'd be back in a minute and go to his office. He'd come back and he obviously put a candy or breath mint in his mouth. We'd sit close together where our knees would sometimes touch. I'd be looking at the computer and could "feel" him looking at me and could see him out of the corner of my eye, but when I'd turn to him he'd quickly look away. We'd keep constant eye contact when talking and he'd sometimes blush when talking to me.
We met for coffee when I was home for Christmas. We talked for over two hours and we kept constant eye contact when we talked. One time (he was leaning forward on the table) he stopped talking and we just gazed in each other's eyes for several seconds. Nothing like that has ever, ever happened to me before so it felt great and strange at the same time. He finally broke the contact, looked down and had an embarrassed-looking smile on his face. After a while he took me home and we were talking about his house, where it's located, etc. He then asked me when I was going to be home (we live several states away from each other). I told him not until the summer sometime. He then said "maybe the next time you're home we can just meet at my house." (Where did that come from????)
I admit once I came back to where I work after Christmas I briefly thought it could work and we could possibly be together, but I found out his age and realized it would never work and want his friendship. He's 59; I'm 25 - too, too much. I know age is just a number but that's a bit much(even though he looks 15-20 yrs. younger but that's beside the point).
He has since ignored me since our Christmas meeting. I am at a loss at what happened. I mean, if we had a falling out where we had argued and THEN the silence, I could understand and realize I lost a friendship. But he seemed to go from 60 (a lot of flirting and smiling) to 0 (silence/ignoring) in a span of 24-48 hours. I had sent him an email once I got back, just telling him it was good seeing him, etc. I have sent him some emails and tried calling him, leaving a couple voice messages, just telling him what's going on in my end and asking how he's doing, you know just keeping in touch...absolutely nothing. I feel so heartbroken because I've momentarily lost his friendship which I value deeply. I'm gonna try one more time and send him an email in a couple weeks and just lay everything out there: explain my confusion on his silence/ignoring, telling him I miss talking to him, especially now since I'm so far away from home, family and friends, and - most importantly - telling him I consider him a good friend and nothing more. Hopefully it'll work and he'll be honest with me.
Well, anyway, enough about my problems, but it shows that I know what you're going through.
Two concerns of mine, though. First, your age. You're either 13, 14, or 15. With all due respect, you're just entering puberty where your emotions and hormones are running wild. You don't know what love is (I sound like Forrest Gump at the moment). Another thing that concerned me is that you said:
"Theres this guy, who likes me, really likes me and he's told me, and loads of other people.. and he's nice and sweet and obviously cares about me,, but i can't see my self dating him because i just can't stop thinkin bout my teacher!!!!"
There's a difference between infatuation and obsession. My thing with my teacher is probably infatuation but I have forgotten him in that way and just picture us hanging out as friends. You've said this guy likes you. Do you like him? If you even like him a little, give him a chance. Who knows? If anything, it'll take your mind off this obsession you have with your teacher.
Since you know my story, please care to answer my question?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-there-a-way-i-can-get-confirmation.html
Thank you!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009): you need to get yourself out of this situation darling, is there anyone you trust enough to enable you to talk to them. could you switch classes or schools. its vital you remove yourself from it for your mental stability and development as much as for your education. this guy who fancies you. why don't you try things out with him it could take your mind off things xx
...............................
|
