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How can you tell if your gf is a real virgin??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 March 2007) 16 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2008)
A male Malta age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How do i get to know if my girlfriend is a real virgin? She said she is but i dont trust her enough becasue she had been in a relationship before and seems to know a lot about sex.

Is it true that all women bleed on their 1st time? She is just 15 years old and is it true that it feels when i do it that she is a virgin?

Tkx a lot

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008):

Hmmm.

Iam in the same position..

My gf is 15 and iam 17. Iam a virgin and she is too. She's amazing and I love her. We've talked about the whole sex thing. And she tells me she's a virgin but then I hear so much stuff from her x bfs. But I trust her and love her to death and believe what she tells me. So dude. You won't be able to tell. Your going to have to rely on her word. Start trusting her cause if not. Then your relationship will slipp out. And then you won't have that special person you can spend your days with...

Best luck

Wil

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008):

To Know About Sex And To Have Sex Are Two Different Things, Magazines Teach About Sex, Even School Teaches About Sex And Contraception. If She Has Been In A Relationship Before Then That Does Not Mean She Has Had Sex Before. There Is A Huge Difference Between A Realtionship And Just Sex And I Believe If She Says She Has Not She Is Telling The Truth, Even If She Was Not A Virgin Your Just As Bad Wanting To Get Into Her Knickers Are You A Virgin??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

Well im a virgin' but my friend bled on he 1st time she had not had sex befor, just how your body is.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007):

dude you cant tell if she is a virgin and there is no way for any one to no but her in a chicks pussy there is a hymen a lil piece of flesh that is broken when penetratioon occurs... as having sex.. but it can also be broken lots of diffeents ways like bike riding and horse riding or gynastics...or if she uses tampons it can also be broken by fingering if she says she isnt it shouldnt matter... you shouldnt be with her or contemplating sex if you would break up with her over it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007):

well most girls do bleed thier first time but some don't but you will be able to tell if shes virgin if shes tite or not

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007):

Hey all,

I am a 22 yr. old virgin and going on 23 next month. I don't think you should be having sex under 18 -at all!!! Especially not at 15. A girl at 15 THINKS she knows, but she doesn't know much at all. As far as the previous replies, it's scary to think that kids are having sex SO young. I got close to it when I was 20, but I'm still waiting and I can tell you TRUST is BIG on having intimacy. You really should rethink about having sex, because from what it sounds like it's just that: sex; not making love.

Good luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007):

look its really basic. if we all waited till we were married then you'd know for certain that she's a virgin, in the same way she'd know that you are too. Im 26 and still virgin, yes im what some would call a jesus freak but im glad to be waiting, its actually not the end of the world for me. Its important to me. Virginty is something thats special and can be considered a gift. i've heard that sex is like glue, theres a part to it that intimately connects you to each other no matter how many partners there have been, so considering that, it seems shouldnt be taken lightly. in saying that your both really young as well, lots of young people find it hard to be resposible for their acts and find it hard to handle the consequence of something that you very well might not actually be ready for. Ultimatley the decisions is both of yours, it adversly affects both you. Be wise

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007):

I dont know for sure, but my gf says that shes not a virgin, but im not for sure if she is or if shes not. I am a virgin, and it hurt so bad when she told me shes not. Im only 17 and shes 15, and I know for a fact that we will be together forever, but i cant seem to get over the fact that i wont be her first.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks everyone for all your help

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007):

You shouldn't be having sex with her anyway. You need to be careful. You could be charged with child rape you know, especially that you're a grown man and she's under the age of consent. But even if she was a bit older, you shouldn't sleep with her anyway because ou obviously don't trust her. There is no definite way to know whether your partner really is a virgin, you just have to trust one another. And as for her sex knowledge, she probably reads magazines and goes on internet websites, just like this one.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007):

hey, i just read your problem. I think that if you don't trust your girlfriend then it is not worth putting her through the pain, i mean i know it feels like. I get told im lying when i say im a virgin, heck im 16. But tell you what, it is damn hard to find a guy that you can trust to actually 'do it' with. So you gotta give to her, that she feels she can trust you with her little secrets, and how she looks where ever. It doesn't really matter about the age, i know the law says being 16 and over only, but if you both feel the relationship will work out then heck....go for it. but you both have to live with the other possiblities. Just sit down with her and talk things through, tell her your secrets, stuff you thought about telling the girl of your dreams. then ask her to say things she would tell only the guy she can trust and hopes to spend her life with. trust me im woman....x

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A female reader, mum2be United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2007):

You definatley can't have sex with this girl. Not only is she not old enough, but you don't trust her, and that is no position to be in when your condidering having sex with someone. When you know whether you love her, not only will she be old enough to have sex, but you will know whether she is a virgin or not.

PS at 15, every girl knows a lot about sex. You go to school, you hear stuff, you talk about stuff etc...

what do you think us girls do with our spare time? talk about car tyres?

lol

all the best

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A female reader, Jendorset United Kingdom +, writes (13 March 2007):

Not all woman bleed on there first time. And no you wont be able to feel if shes a virgin or not. If shes only 15 and it says your 18-21, i hope your going to wait untill she is legally old enough.

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A female reader, dollparts Canada +, writes (13 March 2007):

dollparts agony auntyou can't and it shouldnt matter

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A female reader, dragonette Sweden +, writes (13 March 2007):

dragonette agony auntAre you sure you really love her, because usually when you love somebody, you trust them. What reasons would she have to lie about being a virgin? It's not like you're going to dump her if she isn't, right?!

And to answer your questions: Not all women bleed their first time, the hymen can be stretched from gymnastics and other activities so then it won't bleed.

And as for knowing a lot about sex; most women's magazines today let you know very much about it, and your girlfriend may have read a couple of books on the subject (you can find these books in any public library if you know where to look) and let's not forget that you can find out a lot through google. And probably she has heard things from friends or older cousins/sisters.

If I were you I would do a similar information search, so that you will be up to date on the subject before putting it into implementation.

And most important of all: Don't forget the condom.

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (13 March 2007):

Yos agony auntThere is no way to tell. Not all women bleed the first time they have intercourse, and you certainly can't 'feel' it.

Basically you're going to have to trust her. But then, if you don't trust her you shouldn't be having sex with her anyway! Two people trusting each other is a really important part of having good and healthy sex together.

15 years old is young to be having sex. If you are willing I suggest waiting a bit longer. I'm sure you don't feel like waiting, but all I can tell you that if you do you'll be glad you did later. Of course that's not what you want to hear right now :) Just treat her with love, respect, tenderness and kindness and you should be fine. And whatever happens, don't force her or pressure her into anything she's not ready for.

Best of luck

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