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How can people have sex with the same person and not get bored?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2013)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am still a virgin so I have no knowledge of such things, but it seems to me that If I had sex with the same girl all the time then things would get very boring, kind of like watching the same movie over and over and over again. Assuming that neither of them is cheating, how do couples not get bored of having sex with the same person?

View related questions: still a virgin

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A female reader, iloveblue Canada +, writes (1 February 2013):

iloveblue agony auntI did have the same thoughts when I was your age. I think right now for you, you don't realize that you think of this same person as someone who is nameless, faceless and someone with whom you do not have any emotional attachment.

When I started falling in love and having intimacies, I realized my mind was only thinking about the mechanical aspect of sex. Because the moment you put a name or a face on this person and you become attached to them as in being in love, sex is not boring.

I am dating my boyfriend for close to 3 years now and while I thought before we'd be bored with sex in after maybe 6 months, we surpassed my expectation. Because now, sex is better than the last one. I guess the secret there is that we don't do it for the sake of it, we do it coz with it we feel more close to each other and makes us express our passion for each other. In return it makes us feel more attached to each other therefore, we always want to do it next time and the excitement is always there.

Ofcourse there are people who get bored, but maybe, those are the ones who put a different meaning to sex. We each have our own way of understanding it. But I am lucky to say that I am one person who can tell you I am not bored with it after 3 years with the same person.

Best of luck.

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (1 February 2013):

I dont have an answer that would make much sense to most 16 year old males. I know it didnt make much sense to me at that age.

It took me until I was 44 to be certain I didnt have to wander anymore.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (31 January 2013):

llifton agony auntsometimes they do get bored. that's why people cheat or divorce or break up.

at first, sex is exciting and awesome and fun and you want it all the time with the person you're with. then time passes and you get somewhat bored. that's when you either decide if you want to continue the relationship or move on to someone new to have that newness with. it just depends on how you feel about the person you're with. if you love them, and don't want to have a new sex partner, you find ways to spice things up. role play, or just try different things you hadn't done before. it's unrealistic to think that you'll never get somewhat bored. it's how you choose to handle that boredom that makes the difference.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (31 January 2013):

YouWish agony auntPeople always change and evolve. If you're with the same person, sex isn't always the same. People change, mature, a relationship deepens, you get a bit more adventurous, etc.

By your same logic, having the mechanical act of sex should get boring because it's always the same thing -- insert A into B, thrust, rinse, repeat.

I've been married for almost 15 years, we've known each other for 20. Sex isn't boring! We try new things often...some things that didn't quite go so well, but we have a great sense of humor about it which makes all the difference..and some things are mind-blowingly incredible.

One thing I can tell you about marriage, we get all the sex we could possibly want and then some! Stressed out? Sex is great! In fact, stress sex is awesome.

Have fun now and experiment, but when you fall in love, you'll think that all other people are inferior.

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2013):

R1 agony auntThat's what youth is for, to experiment. Then after a while you will get bored of sleeping with different women and crave something more meaning full. Then you will just want one girl for the rest of your life.

Few people have only slept with one person ever these days.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (31 January 2013):

chigirl agony auntWell, if you think of it as purely mechanical it IS the same thing over and over. But the same problem occurs if you change partner. It would still be yet another vagina, and yet another girl. If you focus purely on the sexual aspect, and not the emotional one (where one girl will be more special as she means more to you), then there really is little difference between girls. You might then ask, "whats next", and maybe you should try having sex with several at the same time, and after that try sex with men, and then several men at a time, and then maybe both men and women etc. If you always need to "change it" after a while then at some point you are going to reach the end and having tried it all. Basically.

Although, looking at it purely mechanical, it all result in the movement of the penis and the orgasm, something you can achieve by masturbation. So in a way, everything will be the same and you might as well masturbate and use your imagination to have different fantasies every time.

So then here's the thing. Once you enter a relationship, develop emotions, and actually have sex, you will see that nothing is purely mechanical. There's no such thing as getting bored with one another. Do you ever get bored of your mother, and want a different mother? No, because you love the one you already have, and you want to continue having her as your mother. Same if you have siblings, sure sometimes we might wish we were lone children, but in the end we do want to keep the siblings we've got. We're not bored of them like you'd be bored by a videogame after playing it 5 times.

Another good way to describe it is.. do you ever get bored of your favourite snack? Or isn't it rather like.. once you've eaten it all up you wish you had more? ;) Sex with someone you love leaves you craving more.

Besides, people with imagination and creativity will never be bored in the bedroom.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013):

"it seems to me that If I had sex with the same girl all the time then things would get very boring"

It seems to me in that case you'd be a very boring lover having sex with the wrong girl.

"how do couples not get bored of having sex with the same person?"

By being in love with each other and therefore genuinely wanting to please your please and satisfy your partner instead of worrying about getting your own rocks off.

Sex without true love is sex without intimacy and that is every bit the boring, mechanical, impersonal physical exercise you describe.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntsex is not about entertainment.

Making love with someone you care deeply about it never boring... it's easy.. you know the steps to the dance...

it can become routine.. and once married with young children and jobs you have to find time... so it's not spontaneous... it becomes random and sometimes scheduled... (kids are spending the night with grandma sort of thing)

but boring? nope.. cause there are a myriad of positions and activities...

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