A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I was wondering if someone can give me some ideas about what is wrong with my sister?She's 22 years old. When she was 17, she began suffering from depression, which led to anorexia. I personally believe that it was the acne medication Accutane that caused the mental problems, as she took this the year prior to the depression developing.Anyways, my sister became severely depressed and anorexic. It quickly developed from spitting out her food, to making herself sick, exercising 5 hours a day and taking enemas like vitamins. She got so thin, she almost died. Her moods became completely out of control! She would severely overreact to ANYTHING and was ultra paranoid. Eventually, after years of my begging my parents to take notice, they took their heads out of the sand and took her to a therapist, who perscribed her Fluoxitine.My sister stopped speaking to me when she got sick. She resented me for all the things I tried to do to help. Trying to talk to her, letting her know that I care and can try and help, writing my parents a letter about what I feel is happening and suggesting they try and send her to a really good clinic down South that deals with this type of thing. Everything I tried to do to help, only made her more paranoid and much worse!When she started the Fluoxitine, within a week, it was as if I had my sister back. She started APPROACHING me to TALK to me again.. it was like going back in time, as if none of the other stuff had ever happened! But, eventually it seemed that her body got used to the drugs, and a month or so later, those haunting thoughts began creeping back. She began to get concerned that they would make her fat, because the drugs were increasing her appetite.. and even though she was acting more stable, she was still not eating.For about 3 years, she went on and off and on her medication again. One day she'd be relatively normal and stable, the next day she would be an absolute mess.. crying her heart out in her room on her own with the door shut for hours, or sneaking around walls listening to people's conversations accusing them of bitching about her.Getting home from work at the end of the day, I never knew what I was walking into.. and all I had to do was LOOK at her and I could be in trouble.Instead of my family actually physically DOING something about this paranoid, crazy behaviour, it seems that they have changed THEMSELVES to be able to accommodate it. If I looked at my sister, or said something quietly even if not about her, I would be absolutely raked through the coals by my parents for CAUSING her overreaction.. getting accused of being a 'troublemaking f*cking b*tch.' Jeez.. I can't even count the amount of times I've been called names like this over the years.I think that the anti-depressants in the end made her even more imbalanced. For the next couple of year, she became what I would call a manic depressant. For 3 days she would be ultra happy.. jumping around, talking jibberish and rolling around on the floor laughing about things no one else even thought were funny. Each time this happened, my parents actually thought she was 'getting better'.. but sure enough, 3 days later she would be an absolute crying mess.. no one could go near her.. you had to avoid that half of the house where she was living.She has now recovered from her eating disorder, well she's gained her weight back anyway, but of course it doesn't take much after you've been starving yourself for years.Her therapist wants her to return to see him, but she's quit all therapy and medication. She believes it's the world, particularly the lovely city we live in, that is the cause of her unhappiness.Her and my father always had a terrible relationship through this. My dad would tend to see things as they were, when my mother would only ever side with my sister.. even over rediculous things. My sister once came up to me and punched me so hard I fell to the ground, because I told her it was inpolite to eat the topping off our homemade pizza. My father kicked her out of home after that, but was made to feel so terrible by my mother, he had a near nervous breakdown. It was one of the scariest times of my life.My father and sister's relationship has now recovered, because my father just lends her money whenever she needs it. She works 3 hours a day, but could of course earn more to contribute to the house if she was on the benefit in my country. She claims she can't find any other work, while my parents fork out hundreds and thousands of dollars to pay for her hair extensions (now that her hair won't grow).. all of her 'special healthy' food .. anything she'll actually EAT.. and operations once a month for this and that bowel problem she believes is the reason for her depression and constipation.This 5 year nightmare has ruined my life. I can't help but be envious of other people who at my age (24) are close to their siblings and have gotten past the petty squabbling they did when they were young. I keep asking myself whether it was something I did that caused this. I even booked MYSELF into therapy to talk about what I'd been through (as my family are PARANOID about me mentioning anything even to my closest of friends). They like to keep up this persona that everything's perfect in our house.. no one would know we live like this.. it's as if we're all bound by a code of silence. I'm worried if I ever told anyone, my sister would kill me.Even though she's now a normal weight, her brain is still functioning in the same way it was when she was anorexic, she just allows herself to eat small amounts now. You would not believe how small a trigger it takes to set her off. Last night, I was talking to my dad about where to buy my vitamins, and said that I knew I couldn't buy them from my sister's boss. (Because when I tried my sister retaliated violently).. Anyway, that's all I had to say and my sister absolutely lost control of herself. She began crying, screaming and throwing things around the house. My parents hadn't even blinked when I'd initially made the comment to them about the vitamins, but suddenly I was in trouble. My mother came up to my face and said "I know you love to do this you coniving f*cking little b*tch!!!" And my father came up to me and said "If I find out this is you, you will be in so much trouble, if I know you did this deliberately." I have never seen my sister lose it like she did last night.I have paid to have a lock on my door for my safety, as there have been times where my parents have worried my sister will kill me in my sleep. At one time, my mother even slept in the room outside mine so she could see my sister if she came up to stab me.For the longest time, I have stayed around this place because I thought there was something I could do to help.. or that she'll find the help she needs and I won't have to leave my home. I have my own rumpus, bathroom, deck and huge bedroom upstairs to myself. I keep telling myself I would never have that same kind of space and privacy anywhere else.. and things may be tolerable for a week.. but when something like last night happens.. I wonder what the hell I'm still doing here.Has anyone got any ideas about what is wrong with my sister? I suspect she may have Skitzophrenia or something. She doesn't hear voices, but the paranoia and the anger like you've never seen.. .it's terrifying. I tried to tell my friend last night what had happened.. and literally LOST my voice when I was imitating my sister.. but when I returned home a couple of hours later.. they were all recovered and fine.. I tell you, you can feel like you're going crazy when things change drastically day to day.. when I'm still recovering. How can my sister go from extreme suicidal despair and psychosis to being chirpy and happy over an hour!????If you have any ideas, please let me know.Thanks for reading. I feel so lonely in this.
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male
reader, salvation  +, writes (23 April 2008):
It sounds almost like she is used to the attention that combined with her unstable mind is causeing persistent outbursts she needs to get help. If you need to talk or are feeling down send me a pm im here if you need me this is not fair on you. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Hi Hunny
Im not qualified sweetheart but I have worked with this kind of depression and it could be one of many, The one that most comes to mind could be manic depression....It would take a doctor a long time to assess your sister to make a diagnosis of her mental state, Fluoxetine (prozac)I will send you the information about and is used for anorexia and other disorders, It is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor...
http://www.drugs.com/prozac.html
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/bipolarmanicdepression/bipolardisorder.aspx
Your sister really should go and see a doctor this is most def some sort of mental illness that needs treatment over a long period of time..Having said that you must understand Im not qualified to make that kind of judgment for anyone else, If this were my family member then this is how I would feel.....You need help sweetheart as living with this can make you very ill and you need someone to talk to a counsellor for you would be a very good idea, And I suggest you go and see someone very soon and tell them everything love as your health is important..They will be able to advise you on the best way to deal with this situation. It seems that no one in your family wants to face the truth love, And thats not your fault ok, You need to think of you. Yes you love and care for your sister but your parents really should see the problem and try and help the situation as it sounds very frightening for you...This is why I feel its very important for you to get help sweetheart I hope this has helped in some way, There is no way of saying just what is wrong with your sister for sure hunny not just like this, Your health is of utmost importance though so please take care of you sweetheart, I hope some of this advise helps a little love TAKE CARE WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): It sounds like your sister has bipolar depression (manic depression), you've explained many of the characteristics of it. The fact that she was also anorexic shows that she definatly has a predisposition to phsychological disorders, none of which is your fault. I think you have shows immence and almost inhuman patience with your sister and family, but I think it's time for you to finally think of yourself: move out and start your own life. If your sister or family do ever come to realise the sacrafices you made and how much you tried to help then they will come to you, but you may have to give them a lot of time for them to realise this. I hope things work out for you and for your family
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