A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months now. We have known each other for a few years prior to us hooking up. She is really sweet and kind towards me, and i love her to bits. She has spent quite a lot on me this Christmas, as i have on her, so she must be keen on me too. We are awesome together, we laugh a lot, she says i treat her like a princess and she's never had that before. My only gripe is that we have a non-existent sex life. We had sex once within the first week we hooked up, and another two times two months later when we went to Portugal for a fortnight. Nothing since. Now im 27 and she is 26, and due to me desperately waiting to move into my first home, i'm temporarily living back with my parents, and she lives with hers. Whenever i try to get intimate with her, there is always an excuse already waiting for me. Excuses such as "we can't, my parents/sisters might hear us". I tried it in the car a few times but she says my sports seats are too hard, or she's scared someone will see us (despite the fact her most recent ex is a taxi driver and she has told me they had sex in his taxi numerous times). Sometimes she will make innuendos and suggestions and promises and gets my hopes up but when it's time, she "feels ill" or "tired". She has had quite a few ex partners, and has been sexually active for more years than me. I know its nothing like i smell bad or anything, i have a very thorough showering and grooming regime and always wear clean, pressed clothes, but i have started to feel so unnatractive lately and it has caused quite a few arguements. Any advice greatly appreciated.
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male
reader, anotherjoeshmoe  +, writes (22 December 2009):
Having sex with a woman is like learning to play an instrument- you will make mistakes, but with time you will learn to make her sound beautiful. Practice not having sex, just use your hands. Do everything for her for one night and try to make her orgasm. Move slow and feel her responses. Don't ask for her to return the favor, just be happy that you could give her such a gift.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): ok this may be hard to hear but she may been hurt badly in the past. you are a great man, you treat her like " a princess" but she might not have any physical feelings for you. If she was let down by men in the past she will not want to let go of a man that obviously loves her but unfortunately some women love the bad boys, love the chase and love the uncertainty. yes she may have feelings for you but to make a relationship work you need the physical aswell. you need to be direct and ask her. It may be hard to take but im sure there are plenty women out there who would love a man like you. Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 December 2009):
The chances are all those sexual partners before you all hurt her, and she's very wary about being used and hurt again. I would gently just speak to her about how you feel, and try to find out more about her. When she feels safe that she won't get hurt, maybe she'll feel differently about it all.
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A
male
reader, doom  +, writes (21 December 2009):
 Hi , well you should talk to her, because at 27, for a relationship to work everything should be great:sex,talking, kissing ,finance, etc... And try finding a moment when you are only alone, i think you can do it.when your parents aren't home,or just make a romantic dinner at a hotel room.Don't get to uspet)) good luck
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