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How can I tell them my gf is pregnant?

Tagged as: Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 October 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 October 2015)
A male Canada age 22-25, *hnoOops writes:

I'm 19 and have been dating my girlfriend for a year. We are both in university. I have a 3 year son with my ex girlfriend. We share custody with one week on one week off. I live in an apartment above my parents garage rent free. During the summer I work full time but while I'm in school I only work part time. My parents help me finically and also with my son so I can continue to go to school.

My girlfriend is pregnant (8weeks) and I have no idea how to tell my parents. They are going to be pissed ! She wants to keep the baby and I support that. I'm scared shitless about having the responsibility of having two kids but I know I couldn't live with myself if we have the baby up. How do easily let my parents know the news that I'm going to be a dad again

View related questions: ex girlfriend, my ex, university

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (31 October 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntOhhh, your lucky parents, getting to support three children when they thought they were actually at a point where they didn't have to support any.

I hope your girlfriend's parents are ready to step up and help support their grandchild, I would be mighty pissed if I was your parent already supporting you and your child, to add another child, and maybe its mother to the mix is going to increase the financial burden on them a LOT!

It take more than the ability to have sex and impregnate a girl to be a father, seems to me you are a bit of a slow learner in that department.

There is no easy way to drop this sort of bombshell on your parents, so straight up and straight out with it is the way to go, and please, at least consider what YOU are going to be doing to support your family before you do speak with them, personally, in light of the fact you are not supporting yourself or the child you already have, I would be advocating for a termination.

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2015):

celtic_tiger agony auntSadly, you are just going to have to man up and be honest with them. You got yourself into this mess, and now you have to face the consequences. Like an adult.

Having sex is not just a fun pastime. It has a purpose, and that is to produce offspring.

If you do not want to have more children, YOU have to take responsibility for contraception by using condoms EVERY time)and not just leave it to the woman, as the pill can fail if not taken properly, or if she is ill etc.

Your parents are going to be pissed, and probably a little disappointed because you have not learned any lessons from your previous experience. It will be them having to cough up the cash and deal with your mistakes.

YOU need to show them that you can change and you can be responsible. If you cannot afford children, either don't have sex or use contraception, EVERY SINGLE TIME.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2015):

Well, tricky predicament and I'm assuming this was not planned. If you and your gf really are certain about raising your child then you're going to have to make some sacrifices; it may be you both need to extend the length of time your studying by going part time in order to work more and be able to afford all the things a baby needs.

Sit them down and tell them that you have some news (they'll figure it out within the time it takes you to say that!) You need to show maturity and let them know you and your gf have a plan on how to make this work - so get a plan into place. Your parents cannot bail you out, and so you're going to have to step up your responsibilities and prove to your parents you are not going to suddenly expect them to act as a childminder to another child.

Studying part time is probably the best option, boh you and you gf can finish your education, it will be more manageable to arrange childcare and also work. Good luck!

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