A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Our parents were physically,emotionally and verbally abusive to me and my younger brother, so when I was 18 I moved out and took him with me. In order to support me and him I worked as a prostitute but I told him I worked the night shift in a food processing factory.4 years later he is now 16 and he is becoming a fine young man, he is at the top of the class in school and he will surpass anything I will ever do and I'm very proud of him. He still talks about how his sister rescued him and worked in a factory etc and so I think its time to tell him the truth as I feel guilty knowing that it isn't true. How do I tell him the truth?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): I can't imagine how hard that must have been to support a younger sibling at such a young age. I have great respect for you.
As to your question, sometimes we all have to do what we have to do. You needed to care for your brother and you did. But some people can accept the idea of prostitution and others can not no matter the circumstances. I'd say take the truth with you to the grave.
best
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): Perhaps this is the time to read Dickens' "Great Expectations".
I know you want thanks for a job well done. God knows you deserve it. So Thank You.
Your aim has been to bring up this fine young man. Best really if you don't mention this until he is much older. Youth are very idealistic, which is another way of saying judgemental. When he is older he will have enough wisdom to know that difficult circumstances sometime require you and the devil to cross a bridge together.
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A
male
reader, ShyNick  +, writes (26 June 2010):
---You were both abused---who's the guilty? YOU or the parents with such a behaviour?You have stand beside your brother better than many parents why you feel guilty? And what meaning has to speak with him about your work? If you need to tell it to someone in order to unload thoughts then you just said it to all of us the anonymous people. You have done the best you could, be Proud and let your brother age up without any guilty thoughts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): As tempting as it is to feel you have to explain that to him, you don't have to. When my kids are old enough to understand, I won't be telling them that I cleaned the scuzziest place in town besides my full-time job. They don't need to know that. A job's a job, no matter what you do, and you could have worked and got fired at 20 or more other jobs in that same period of time. I'm quite sure that the people I know in real life who have worked that many different jobs each year won't be explaining what happened to their children when they are older, so don't worry about it. Sometimes it's knowing what you did for someone and not telling them, that makes you feel a sense of pride in what you do.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 You DID rescue him and you DID work. Don't feel guilty or ashamed of that. I would let him continue on believing that. To do otherwise would give him a huge burden, as SY pointed out, one that he doesn't deserve at his age. He didn't ask you to take that job and shouldn't have to be made to feel guilty for you having to do so. It's not fair on him. I realize it wasn't much fair on you either, but that's what the adults have to do, shoulder the burden and the responsibility.
Best wishes, and congratulations on raising a good boy!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): Dear poster. You have done a wonderful thing to support your self and your small brother under those given circumstances but remember we all have secrets we can never tell because it would cause more anguish and damage than any good. Don't spoil the wonderful sacrifice you have made for the pleasure of getting some instant sympathy from him for what you have done for him. Be contend with the pride you feel for your accomplishment and keep this secret to yourself for ever.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I understand and apllaud your guilt and attemps at giving him a better life. I appreciate your selflessness.However, Telling him that you supported him by being a prostitute would only disappoint him, and relieve you of your guilt. You are a hero in his eyes because you got him out of a bad situation and made his goals possible. That is all he needs to know. My daughter does not need to know the life-altering changes I've made to supprt her. She does not need to know how many of my desires and goals I've put on hold and the things I've sacrificed, because they were my decisions. She does not need the burdon of knowing what her parents have been through for her sake. You went through the pain of being a prostitute. You will one day have to tell someone you are in love with that you prostitued. Isn't that enough of a consequence without changing your brother's veiw of you?
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A
female
reader, ctds001 +, writes (25 June 2010):
Hey Honey,
I must congratulate you on raising your brother so well, he is a credit to you.
Please think very carefully about off loading your guilt by telling your brother, how you supported him.
He really looks up to you and he may see your working girl life as all he's fault.
I think he is too young to be burdened with this, he may take it wrongly and as teenagers do, throw it in your face when you have arguements etc.
Leave it where it belongs in the past.
Tell us know what you decide, Good Luck x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 June 2010):
First of all, is there anyone that can ever tell him? I yes, then gently explain to him what has happened and why. If no, then don't. I say don't, because humans are great at blaming themselves rather than the true cause. People will say that lying might be wrong. But he could end up feeling just awful. Like I said, if he can find out, then it's best to tell him. If not, don't. It's not for the best.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I think by telling him now, he won't act quite as shocked as if you waited for years and years and tell him as an adult. He may possibly not react as rationally as when he is older, but it still won't hit him quite as hard. He is obviously proud of you for getting him through this, and he is intelligent enough to know that he should still be grateful that you got them through. He wouldn't want you to lie, and before now, he was too young to understand. Now is the best time to tell him. Get back to us and let us know how you got on =]
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