A
female
age
36-40,
*ubblygirl
writes:I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and I need some unbiased clarity since my head is so foggy over everything that’s happened. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 ½ years now. In the last year, things have been very rocky in that he started lying about going out to the bar with his friends after I told him I was uncomfortable with him going there. He also sent sexual emails to another man and told me it was a practical joke (which I believed him) and then two months ago, he got another girls number at a bar and denied it/got angry when I found out and asked him. I found out cause the girl he asked is a friend of one of my friends.Now I’m conflicted. I told him I can’t trust him anymore and I don’t feel deep down he is “the one” but I’m terrified he will find someone right after me and make me feel like I wasn’t all that important. I know that sounds silly but the thought terrifies me just picturing him with someone else. I honestly don’t know why I can’t cut ties and leave him. It’s also caused some uneasiness with my friends and sister since they know what he did and are upset I’m still with him. Lastly, we have a condo together and I invested a lot of money and I’m worried he won’t pay me back if we break up. I’m also 23 and still partly living with him and partly moved back with my parents after all these incidents. I’d feel pathetic starting over in my parents house. So many factors are pulling me in different directions.What do you think? Should I end it? How can I stop myself from breaking down about him with someone else? Why do I feel like this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2012): This is Canada, seek Lawyers advice. You can usually find one that gives you advice for the first 1/2 hour FREE.You'll need that in regards to how long you lived common law, if you are both recognized as common law, and what you can do to press for him to pay you out or vice versa.I would do that IMMEDIATELY.Secondly, its your abandoment issue and insecurities and that feed your worry about him making you feel 'unimportant'?As a Wise, Strong Woman Said:No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.~ Eleanor Roosevelt He doesn't make you feel inferior, but he can mistreat you and lie to you and have you choose to let the triggers of abandonment and your perceived 'worthlessness' consume you.You are of great worth and matter to this world. Your presence is no accident. You have in you the capacity to do great things. You just haven't been taught strongly that this is the truth of your exsistence.So with this; you stick with insensitive, selfish, dishonest Douche Nozzles like your BF.So counselling will next be suggested so you can LEARN how to love yourself and LEARN to respect yourself. To overcome your insecurities and poor self image and grow into the healthy, kick ass young woman you were meant to be.Then you will have a healtier perspective and what now seems looming and overwhelming, will be shown to be managaeable and can be overcome.
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