A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've never had an orgasm, i've been having sex with this one guy for a few weeks and he is really worried that i don't enjoy it, which just makes it harder for me to relax.I don't know how to stop him worrying???
View related questions:
orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Appletizer +, writes (30 July 2008):
 Ok . . . well you shouldn't need to fake it . . . like everyone else is saying . . . just talk to him.
Getting wooried about it isn't going to help eihter, it's gonna make you tense . . . which will make it even harder for you to have an orgasm . . .
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 The key to good sex is good communication. You should be telling your boyfriend what he can do to make your sexual experiences better for you. Don't be afraid to open up and share your fantasies or whatever else might make your experiences better. It's obvious that he wants to please you. It's up to YOU to tell him, in DETAIL, just how he can do that.
Face it, what guys in their teens or early 20's DON'T know about women's sexuality could fill a whole bookshelf. Heck, you're probably just discovering some of it yourself. But you've at least got a basic idea of what turns you on. So make a deal with him. Agree in advance that the two of you will talk, without reservation and without embarrassment, about what you would like the other one to do. And you've got to really mean it. Be ready to share with him everything you can think of that he could possibly do that might make you feel better during sex. And be ready to listen to anything from him that he can think of that you could do to make it better for him. Then talk about it together. Maybe there are things that for some reason aren't practical. Face it, neither of you are inexhaustible porn stars or anything like that, so not everything may be possible. But figure out what you CAN do to satisfy each other. Then do it.
One thing that you ought to consider. Women are built so that they can enjoy sex differently than men. It is possible (believe it or not) for a woman to experience a number of orgasms right after one another, while a man needs at least SOME time in between to recover. That being the case, it is often desirable for the man to have a policy of "ladies first" when it comes to sexual pleasure. A guy can do a lot manually and orally to stimulate his companion and get her up to (and perhaps through) orgasm before concentrating on his own pleasure. The technical term for this is called "being considerate". You might want to let your guy know that you would appreciate some extended advance attention before he got down to his own fulfillment. What's in it for him, of course, is that he can expect you to work extra hard at making things really good for HIM once his turn comes.
So that's it. How to stop him worrying? TALK to him. Make your communication open and honest. Better sex begins with better communication
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe thoughti hadn't but i had to fake the last one to get him to chill out, i think he's got a low ego or something
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): just explain to him what you are fealling.
...............................
A
female
reader, Appletizer +, writes (29 July 2008):
Just to clarify . . . does he know that you havn't had an orgasm when you've been with him??
...............................
|
