A
female
age
30-35,
*eannah
writes:well my boyfriend and i live together, and we are talking about getting married. of course i am so happy but he told me he was "uncertain about my commitment". how can i show him that i love him and will be faithful to him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 Hi,
first off, is there anything you havent told us which would give him reason to believe you won't be faithful and committed?
I only ask this because if there isnt, then you should be a little bit worried. This sounds like controlling behaviour to me, he is so insecure that he needs you to bow to his concerns in order to let YOU marry HIM.
At your age you have plenty of time to settle down, I don't think you should let him call the shots like this, a marriage is an equal partnership, this doesnt sound like one.
Now I'm not saying you should split up or anything just redress the balance in the relationship. You are both going to get married, not just him, all the decisions should be made together. It sounds like he has put himself up on a pedestal as some sort of perfect male and you have to rise to those dizzy heights to get your man.
That is not a good start.
Maybe tell him you are also concerned about his committment ...remember a relationship is a two way thing.
good luck.
A
female
reader, °Ale°  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 Right.. you can only show by doing. If he's not sure about your commitment then you really do not need to be talking about marriage. Time will be your friend on this one, use ito get to know each other, to show your love and commitment and when the "time is right" you'll know it.
Good luck with your relationship and don't forget to send me an invitation to the wedding ;)
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 I guess your actions will have to speak for themselves. Trust is something that builds over time, so long as each partner remains honest and faithful in all ways. You can't force someone to trust you, nor can you talk someone into trusting you. All you can really do is show him your commitment. Love him as best you can, maybe surprise him with thoughtful gestures (you'll have to decide how to make him feel loved based on your knowledge of him). If you manage to keep your nose clean, he will one day trust you because you've given him no reason not to.
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