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How can I make sure something happens between us but I don't end up feeling used?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 February 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'm 17, and I've been in love with the same guy for about 9 months. We dated, which only lasted a month because I was very ill, and he couldn't handle it. We've been broke up for about 2 months now, still talk a lot, he still tells me everything. And anytime we've seen each other since, he's kissed me. He says he doesn't have feelings for me anymore, but i'm almost 100% sure that he does. He's coming down for a house party in 2 weeks, and I want something to happen, but i know he'll be drinking, how can i make sure something happens without feeling used and him saying he regrets it and was just drunk the next day? Please help. I can't take this anymore.

View related questions: broke up, drunk

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010):

Sorry to say, but if there's drinking involved, things will not go well for you. He may be able to control himself sober, but probably not if inebriated.

If you come on to him while he is intoxicated, he will likely take you up on your advances and he will not regret the outcome. Because after all... you initiated it not him. That is not the kind of sex you want to have.

When the time is right, with the right guy and circumstances, you won't have any doubt and you won't need to ask anyone here at this web site. Use that as your test in the future.. If you feel that you have to ask the question here, then the answer is "no and move on".

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A female reader, sxcbabiegal United Kingdom +, writes (3 February 2010):

sxcbabiegal agony auntMy advice to you would be to just move on. If he says he has no feelings for you then he most probably doesn't and the kissing probably doesn't mean more than just a kiss to him. You cannot make sure anything happens unless he wants it to really happen. You need to talk to him first and make sure your clear on how he really feels. If he doesnt have feelings for you then just forget about him.

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