A
female
age
26-29,
*ofirex
writes:hii everyone, thanks for taking the time to read my story. :)well i am with this guy for 9 months now and i am so in love with him i just cant do anything without thinking about him. its like he is my life now, i feel him next to me whenever i do something. he is 18 and so he had to go to the army for two years and he comes out 2 or 3 times a week. we always meet those 2 or 3 times he is out. everything is so great between us. he is so sweet and loving he is really all i've ever dreamed of. but he doesnt trust me at all. at the past i had many boyfriends and i wasnt serious with anyone i talked with many guys on msn and stuff and i knew lots of guys. so he doesnt trust me to go down town with my girlfriends or to the mall, even though i changed so much. i dont even recognize myself anymore. i like me though this way, i am SOOO loyal to him and i changed my phone number i deleted my msn and facebook, and i have absolutely no communication with ANY guys. he is EVERYTHING to me, and i would never EVER cheat on him or talk with other guys. anyway today he told me he will go on Friday downtown with his friends :S i said what if i say you cant go, will you still go? he said yes. its not that i dont want him to go, its that why does he go out with his friends without asking and i am not allowed to go anywhere? its so unfair. i cant i cry all the time and i am shaking it hurts so much i dont recognize him. why doesnt he trust me? i would never never do anything with anyone and especially i wouldnt risk loosing him, he is to special for me. help me please i dont know how to react. i tell him all the time how amazing he is and how in love with him i am, and still he doesnt trust me. how can i make him trust me more? i love him so much guys, it hurts!!! :"( thanks for the help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): It isn't that he doesn't trust you.. he is creating a opening should he want out.
Tell him you would love to wear a promise ring (: and that way everyone will see how committed you both are to each other.
Let's see if he gets you one.
Turn the tables
let him put up or shut up.
(I see no sharpoint in saying you are both very young etc, etc.. to wear a promise ring. It isn't a wedding band. yet. )
A
female
reader, sofirex +, writes (15 November 2010):
sofirex is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks so much guys for taking the time to answer. i will talk to him next time i get the chance and really i am so thankful to you all. THANKS again, you helped me when i needed the help! thanks so much! xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): Your boyfriend is controlling you. You don't need to be in a relationship like that. It is very, very unhealthy.
You've stopped all contact with your male friends because he doesn't trust you. You also can't hang out with your female friends because he doesn't trust you. But he can do whatever he wants? You're right - that's NOT fair.
Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to "make" him trust you. He will, or he won't. And it sounds like you certainly have given him no reason not to; you've done everything he says. He's taking advantage of your willingness to please him, and this control he has on you will only get worse once you are together when he's done with the army. It is very likely this will turn into physical abuse, in addition to even further emotional abuse. This might sound harsh, but get out now before things get worse.
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A
female
reader, milk and cookies  +, writes (15 November 2010):
Hello
You are very young girl. Please slow down. You have your whole life to fall in love. Find out who you are before you give yourself away. Sincerely milk and cookies
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A
female
reader, JustKalie1010  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Hmmm... I don't think he's being fair. If he can go out with his friends, you should be able to as well.
I think you should talk to him about this. Tell him exactly how you feel, and ask him why he doesn't trust you, and ask how you can get him to trust you. And if he keeps on telling you that you can't be with your friends, yet he still hangs out with his, I think you need to consider moving on. Because that just isn't right, no matter how important he is to you. And if he really cares about you, he will respect your wishes to be with your friends. And if he doesn't, then he isn't right. And maybe it isn't a trust issue. He might be trying to hold you back from certain things besides him. And thats not right at all. Talk to him!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 He's controlling your life, your self-esteem. The bugging question you have is binding you to him, and your respond to his rejection of you by holding on even stronger. Judge him by how he treats you, not by how much you have to do to gain his love. If he treats you like shit then certainly he won't be that amazing and special anymore. I can tell you he's nothing special and amazing.
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