A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling so guilty today. Last night my ex and i had a row and he grabbed me and lifted me off the ground. In front of my 13 yr old son. We have NEVER been physical before with each other. I lost my rag and keep swinging for him, and eventually got him to go, taking his 11 yr old daughter with him. My daughter is 11 also, and the girls were upstairs when this happened. My daughter adores his daughter and thats why we stayed friends even after we split in january, we always argued and i didn't want that life for my kids. But we did actaully get on ok as mates. Last night we just ended up rowing over nothing, and yes, we had both been drinking unfortunately.I dont want anything to do with him now which is fine by me, even though he owes me a few grand, but hopefully i will be getting that back through small claims. But what bothers me now is how do i help my little girl get over her friend? She is shy and lacks confidence, and hasn't got any other friends.It breaks my heart!
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confidence, my ex, shy, swinging Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell alls well that ends well. I said to my daughter, you have his number, why dont you txt him and ask when you can see her. Which she did, and he said, anytime you want to sweetheart. Hope you and your brother are ok. Ive told her she's 11 now, so she can organise it with him, he can txt her when outside to pick her up, and i dont need to be involved apart from knowing whats going on. And obviously as long as he doesn't drink alcohol at the time.
Its a big weight off my mind.
Thanks for your advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIve decided, i am going to ring his ex in a few days. Only spoken to her once or twice. But have her number from when his daughter stayed here a few days last half term. God knows what he will of told her, but i am going to send myself demented worrying about my daughter otherwise. It's breaking my heart. Ive tried getting her to join clubs but she's not interested. I think once she goes to senior school in september, she will be a lot better. But for now, i feel sooooooo guilty about her losing her best friend, and if i dont try and sort some arrangments with his daughters mum, then i wont have done enough. I just have to hope he meant it when he said he loved my kids, otherwise he will tell his ex he wont have it happening!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUnfortunately, i think the main reason he was ok with staying mates was because he always thought deep down i would get back with him, which i had always made clear wouldn't happen. But he's very big headed. I think last night the penny finally dropped that wasn't ever going to happen, and he lost the plot. So its very unlikely he will be happy with what you suggest. Which is a shame. Because in an ideal world, that would be my faveourite option. I wouldn't of ever wanted to stay mates if the children weren't involved. But i expect he knows that, so he wont play ball.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (17 May 2008):
 Is there no way you can arrange for them to meet up still? As hard as it might be for you both it could work if you dont actually spend a lot of time together but just drtop the girls off at each others houses or take it in turns to have a day out with them x
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