A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey guys i dont know how good you guys are at thinking but i need some ideas and fast ... the thing is that me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months now and my mum still doesnt want to meet him and she wont let him in the house .. so this is the first question .. how do i persuade her to meet him and see him for the guy i have fallen in love with .. also the second question is what the hell can we do when we are out and about as he lives quite far away but we have run out of things to do such as walking along the beach .. also i live in england so the weather is rubbish so please guys could you give me some ideas ..many thanks xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honest_Answers +, writes (29 March 2010):
 Maybe your mum is struggling to come to terms with the fact that you are growing up. Instead of getting him to come round to your house to meet him maybe get her to meet him 'by accident' - see if you can figure out some way of bumping into him when you and your mum are out. This way she can see that he's not a bad guy and will be able to tell that you like him. You need to speak to her about why she doesn't want him to come round.
As for things to do it is very difficult when you are young and have little money - maybe see if you could arrange to do one activity a week, bowling, badminton, swimming, skating and sometimes going for a walk. It would be much easier for you to be able to sit in your house and watch TV etc, so you really need to speak to Mummy!
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (28 March 2010):
 Firstly, ask your Mum why she doesn't want to meet him. Secondly, tell her that if she gets to know him she'll be able to see if he is trustworthy or not =]
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 I have found that the best way to get people to listen to you is to write it out and give it to them to read on their own time. That way they don't feel the need to interupt you with their thoughts or to immediately reject any ideas they don't instantly agree with. People can sometimes feel cornered if you bring up a sore subject with them so a letter is a good way to create a nice, gentle topic while allowing the person plenty of space to mull it over.
The key to any subject in a relationship (including parent/child relationships), is communication. So get all your thoughts out on paper as to why he is important to you and how happy and relieved you would feel if your mother could try to participate and help you along with your dating experiences. If there are specific problems she has with him, then address them calmly and completely to help ease her on them. Make sure he knows that a good way to cope with something you don't like is to try to understand it from the other person's point of view so that if you don't agree with it, at least you can think about it without going crazy.
For instance:
"I know you don't really like my boyfriend or have any interest in him, but I need you to know that he is someone who makes me happy. I know that boys and relationships are hard and I would love to have you there to talk to about it and help me through it. I think it would help me feel closer to you as well."
I hope you see what I'm saying. If you end up trying it, please let me know how it goes.
Take care.
~sy
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