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How can I get my mistress to finally trust me after 5 years together?

Tagged as: Cheating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 May 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 14 May 2018)
A male age , anonymous writes:

I've been in a 5 year relationship with my mistress and she still doesn't trust me. I have done everything I can to show her I am trustworthy but she can never fully have faith in me. Her trust problem has caused a lot of tension in our relationship and I wish it wouldn't.

We love each other and have great fun together as well as great sex. Our bond was instant from the very beginning and I have never met anyone like her

before or any woman who has ever made me feel the way she does. She knows this but she worries constantly that I will cheat on her or that I will replace her.

How can I get her to stop worrying, to be more relaxed and enjoy the relationship we have?

All I really want is for her to see that I am a good guy who is not out to hurt her. But her back and her wall are always up.

Am I expecting too much here? What can I do moving forward? Will she ever trust me?

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A male reader, Code Warrior United States + , writes (14 May 2018):

Code Warrior agony auntYou're not trustworthy. You're a cheater. Your mistress knows it because she's, well, a mistress. Your shithouse lawyer bullshit isn't fooling anyone but yourself.

You want your mistress to trust you? Go tell your wife about her and then live up to whatever bullshit you told your mistress.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (14 May 2018):

N91 agony auntThis can’t be serious surely?

You’re a cheat. A lying, cheating, lowlife. Of course she can’t trust you, you lie to your wife’s face everyday, why would your piece on the side trust you?

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia +, writes (14 May 2018):

Aunty Susie agony auntSo, you are cheating on your partner to be with your mistress - so YES you are expecting too much here. NO, she will never trust you. Why would she, really? You've proven yourself to her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2018):

Silly question. Yes, you're expecting too much. There's probably nothing you can do to stop her worrying. After all, you're cheating on your wife with her. She'd be foolish to think she could totally trust you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2018):

She is your mistress so obviously you have a 'more serious' relationship with another woman?! Here in lies the issue. She is your mistress, so how can it be serious or how can she trust you until you leave the other woman? She knows this and she has doubts.

Most women know that rarely a man will leave his wife for the mistress, especially if there are children involved. You both need to have an honest talk. She may feel that if you cheated with her on another woman that you are likely to cheat on her too.

Are you aware of the reasons why you cheated in the first place?! When the going gets tough, will you talk it through or escape into the arms of another woman?! Think about what you want, be sure and have the necessary conversations you need to have because it is not a good situation for all involved.

The only way you can really convince the mistress is to make her the only woman in your life.

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