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female
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anonymous
writes: I met a guy really liked, but met him in a club. Met him several times, thought I could really talk to him. Eventually met him again at the club, this time tipsy. Went back to his place and had sex with him (protected). Got up next morning and felt like I made a huge mistake. There was no feelings or emotion. I was so disappointed and lately been feeling depressed. I really think that I want a relationship with someone and the next person I have sex with I wanna make love with, but I don't know who's genuine anymore.What should I do? Add is it me?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (27 May 2006):
 I dont think it is you at all. Speaking personally for a second, although I am often tempted by something more casual, i find that sex in a committed relationship is better. I think one of the things is time here. You say you met several times and felt you could talk to him but they dont sound like serious meetings and were they all at a club??
A club is a great point of first contact but its really hard to get to know anybody properly in that atmosphere. Because of this and I know there will be exceptions to this but i think its generally true nonetheless there is some truth to the comment that alot of people in clubs are only looking for something more casual.
I think you should spend more time dating somebody, outside a club kind of enviroment. Share some exeperiences together, like the cinema for example, and see how that goes. You can only really assess how genuine people are over time and through this process. Hope that helps and good luck.
A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (27 May 2006):
 Hey ThereNo sweetie firstly its definately not you ok, you are not to blame ok. i completely understand that you are wanting to make love not just have sex, the good thing about this is that you can actually see the difference my advise to you babe woud be don't be so hard on yourself ok relax a little start to go out socially with friend ie coffee morning or walks in the park you know not just clubbing, once you have your sights set on someone then start seeing them on a regular basis take things slowly, build up to the making love rather than it being right at the start of the relationship... remember sweetie rome was not built in a day and these things will take time ok.....i hope i helped a little You Take Care x
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