A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Grrrrr ive gone and complicated my life. After a turbulant split from someone in january (my decision) ive been going in a certain pub every weekend, and made some frieds of the regulars. But one particular guy has marriage problems, and me being a softie and liking to offer people advice, seem to have attracted this guy to me. His wife (who i hadn't seen before) came to the pub to get him. She stormed off when she saw him talking to me and said go shag her then! I said er excuse me we were only talking! Others in the pub said i'm better off staying out of it she is a nut case!Anyway, he apologised and all was fine. After i came home he had messaged on facebook and gave his number. I txt him and said hope your alright, come meet me! We met and he ended up coming in mine for a coffee, kept saying i hav made a big impact on him last couple of weeks and he did keep trying it on but i said no way, you need to sort your life out before you get into anything with anyone! He admitted to a couple of affairs in the yrs since he's been married. I like the guy as a friend thats all.Anyway he went home and hes at work today and keeps txting saying he cant get me out his head, etc etc. I said you have more important things to think about at the moment!Now i'm worried he is going to think i led him on. I did say to him i hope you didn't think i wanted sex when i said come meet me? He said no, but he would liked to have done it!How can i defuse the situation a little in the best way?
View related questions:
affair, at work, facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lilla  +, writes (7 September 2008):
 Be sriaght with him and tell him in plain english you just want to be friends. If he can't understand this, just ignore him. I don't mean to be judgemental but you made a mistake asking him around when you clearly saw trouble. I just call 'em as I see 'em.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not going to stop going in the pub. Why should I? Give up my social life beause of him?
Thats a crap idea, sorry.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): I think you've done all you can to let him know that you don't see him the way he sees you, ie. as a potential sexual partner.
You've tried the softly sofly approach and he's still trying it on, so perhaps the best thing would be to tell him that you're a friend at the moment, but if he keeps on in this vein you won't even be that. Unless he's got a skin like a rhino he ought to take the hint and back off.
...............................
A
male
reader, Shah88X  +, writes (7 September 2008):
Be frank and tell him the truth.
Men appreciate the truth, and hard facts.
Trust me, as a man, we'd rather take it all in our faces rather than learn about it slowly.
It'll hurt. =\
Hope that helps.
...............................
|
