A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,I have a co-worker that is well liked by everyone but for me he is a bully and rude. He has no respect for women comments he has made about women acting helpless or women should pay their fair share on dates and in life. He will see me coming in a meeting and will take the chair I was going to sit in and say women shouldn't get special treatment(Under his breath). I understand if these are his beliefs but he almost knock me down rushing through a hallway and I had to grab the wall so I wouldn't fall down. I asked him please have manners next time and say excuse me he laughed and walked away. I'm only the 2nd woman in this job full of men and I hold my own well. I'm more girly than the other woman I wear make up and dress up for meetings,I'm also married with a child. I asked my hubby and course he was upset but also said he seems to either hate women or insecure I work in a "Man" dominated field. It really makes me uncomfortable but my boss likes him very much what do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2015): A female reader anonymous has just demonstrated that women are just as capable as men of behaving misogynistically - part of a much bigger picture where women have been taught to compete with one another and put one another down in order to win male approval.
If your colleague is in cahoots with the boss, I think the best way to handle this is to record - in detail and absolutely systematically - every single time he treats you badly. See a lawyer about bringing a case against him for harassment and creating a hostile environment. IF it so happens that the boss does try to get rid of you for complaining, then you will have a really solid case for constructive dismissal ie. with one employee constructing a situation that is unacceptable, causing you to complain, and then your boss firing you also contributing to a constructed situation of dismissal, rather than one in which the boss reprimands the aggressor (your colleague).
If you do this it will become a preoccupation and will be stressful to maintain, but if you get the proper legal advice, you could come out winning.
A
female
reader, mrspiggy  +, writes (14 February 2015):
 Wow. Okay. I don't agree with a sentence of what anonymous just said. Jeez.
Moving on.
Ignoring him is the best way to go. He'll either realise you aren't rising to the bait anymore and give up or he will get worse and others will notice and then you have a case.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2015): Find another job. What are you doing working in a male dominated profession? There is hostility there more than likely because women shouldn't be working there in any capacity. Why do you want to do men's work?
He's right, women shouldn't get special treatment in the workplace. That's called *equality*. Doesn't sound like you're "holding your own" if you're calling this man a bully expecting him to treat you special simply because you're a woman. When you're *equal* that means no special treatment. His boss may appear to give him special treatment because he's likely a good and reliable worker. What have you got to offer on the job besides being a woman who "dresses girly"?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 February 2015):
 Every time he gets a reaction from you he feels like he "won" so for me I would ignore him, if he says something lame and misogynistic - just roll your eyes and IGNORE.
He thinks by putting down women (and you) HE is a better man. It's really sad, my guess is he is a lonely bitter man with mommy issues. I think he both HATES women, and FEAR them.
Unless you are MADE to work WITH him I'd avoid him. And since he isn't REALLY doing anything "illegal" it is within his "right" to be a ignorant, self-righteous bastard and his boss are satisfied with his work, it will be hard to get support from HR. And unfortunately, I can see YOU being the one who is let go. It may be a BS reason they give, but as you said it's a male dominated field.
If the ignore doesn't work, kill him with kindness. A guy like that wouldn't know what to do with this.
Does the company have a handbook? Guideline? Have you actually read it? If not, read it see if there is anything in there pertaining to "hostile" work environment.
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A
female
reader, xKittyx +, writes (14 February 2015):
Hi,
I think this guy is taking his "beliefs" too far. I think you should just be nice to him, and ignore him when he acts like a poof. He's acting like a baby, and really needs to be taught how to act nicely. Be the better person, and just don't retaliate. Try having a word with your boss, and ask if he/she could at least try and tell this guy to stop.
Best wishes,
Kitty x
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