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How can I communicate with my husband effectively?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 February 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 February 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, *athyhill58@yahoo.com writes:

my husband and i have been together for 10 years and have been married for 3 years. about a year ago i told him I had slept with my ex when all i did was go down there on our wedding day only bc he hit me i forgave him. about 2 months ago i told him i didnt sleep with my ex, i only said that bc he was bugging me about it. we have a 7 year old. we have never lived together as a family. i love him so much. the main thing is that he doesnt trust me. i know where he is half the time and he thinks that is stalking. i am wanting to keep our marriage from divorce and i am the only one that is willing to do that. i have prayed every night to the lord for us to be together. he thinks every time i want to talk about us he says i dont want to start an argument. we dont communicate very much i try to, but he would just rather not call me. that is the hardest part right now. i worry about him and he says i shouldnt. i dont know what to do....

View related questions: divorce, my ex, stalking, wedding

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (11 February 2010):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI'm willing to answer this very confusing question and leave my name on it. I'm going to answer the question in the title, and try to answer the question at the end of the post.

Effective communication consists of talking calmly and clearly, and listening openly. It requires a relationship of trust and respect. There is no place for manipulation, dishonesty or bullying. There also needs to be openness and willingness to share. Not hiding from the problems.

What should you do. Get help. Professional counselors for both of you. You could use friends or clergy to help mediate the early conversations but it appears that your difficulties need more than that and it would be irresponsible of me not to suggest a trained professional.

Regardless of your troubles, you seem to both still be committed to each other. To me that says there is much to save here.

FA

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010):

You didn't proof read what you wrote before hitting enter did you ?? Awful hard to understand btw.

You gave your ex bf oral sex because your husband hit you..?? OR your husband hit you so you decided to give your "ex" oral sex ?? Then somewhere in the process you lied and said you slept with your "ex"??

Nice husband's don't hit their wives.

Nice wives on their wedding day don't give BJ'S to their ex-boyfriends.. Nice wives and husbands don't lie to each other...

Where is the complication ??

If the wife is giving out BJ's like party favors at the wedding life can get complicated and confusing..

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